Friday, August 10, 2012

1st Bibliophile Olympiad

As I am sure you have noted with previous posts, I am a bit of an Olympic junkie.  I love watching the amazing feats that these athletes pull off, watching the pay-off (or agony) of years of preparation.  Alas I unfortunately will never be up for a medal in anything UNLESS we book lovers get together and create our own events.  These feats of literary prowess could include the following:

Speed Reading and Comprehension- This would actually have two divisions:
          Sprint Read-Everybody would read one book and take a quiz for comprehension, one second added for every wrong answer, must get 80% or better to qualify score, fastest time wins
          Marathon Read-Contestants would be given a stack of books and a set amount of time, quiz for each book, 5 minute time out for each wrong answer, 80% to qualify, most books read is the winner

Book Shelf Stack- This event would consist of fitting an impossible amount of books into a bookcase, this would have a few different divisions as well:
           Technical Stack-This event would consist of a standard book case and a pallet of various size and shaped books. The contestants must find a way to get all of the books to fit so that the spines are all readable and books don't fall on your head when you pull one out, fastest time wins.
           Artistic Stack- For this event our bookletes (heehee see what I did there I made athletes into bookletes...leave me alone I haven't finished my coffee yet) would select a more unusual bookshelf and try and fill it as aesthetically as possible.  Other non-book objects are allowed (eg plants, knickknacks) but the objects must consist of at least 75% books to qualify. This event is notorious for subjective judging :-)

The Book Smuggle - First I have to admit this one is inspired the The Book Smugglers blog, but utilizes techniques that any good bibliophile should know.  In this event bookletes must demonstrate their skill at buying books without letting their significant other/mother/debt collector know that they have purchased yet ANOTHER book they cannot afford.  They must then get book to the designated area and find a way to read it all while keeping the other person none the wiser.  Some points may be recovered if said person does find out and the contestant can come up with a plausible story to keep the anger at bay.  Please do not attempt this event unless you are a veteran book smuggler as it could end up in tears for all involved.

The Great Book Move- This event is where some physical stamina may come into play.  The competition includes convincing people that yes you do need ALL 47 boxes of books at your next home, packing these boxes, packing boxes in old pick-up truck, hauling boxes up 5 flights of stairs (elevator is broken) and unpacking all the boxes.  Meanwhile the Olympic workers are making various weather happen, rain, snow, fog, Godzilla running amok.  This is a team event of of four people and usually dominated by Military spouses.

Reading Concentration- In this event contestants must read a book in increasingly difficult and distracting situations.  The first chapter starts off easy, maybe in a living room with loud music coming from another apt. Once a booklete finishes a chapter and answers three questions correctly, they may move to the next stage, say a crowded train with somebody jabbering away on their cellphone, then onto crying screaming children clutching at your leg.  This continues until the book is finished or the booklete throws it at somebody in a rage.  Fastest/furthest completion wins.

These are just some of the highlights of our great Bibliogames, there are many more events in which a booklete can do their country proud, join me as we compete to bring glory to bookworms everywhere!

What games would you have in the Book Olympics?  Which event would you be best at?  What should our mascot be?  Does anybody think that their life resembles these events just a tad too much? (not me...nope...never...hehehe)

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