Crazy Reader

So this is how life is right now

So...yeah.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Me In A Nutshell

About 1000 people have posted this to my timeline :-)

The Real Joy of Reading

I think they may be on to me lol.  Happy Reading Everybody!

So Helpful...

I once again have a sever case of writers block.  Because of that I asked my usually smart and savvy Hubbin for some suggestions for today's post.  Here is what he came up with.

Ancient Aliens and how they time travel and further their agenda by setting up things for the future so people would know and not know.

Rouge Aliens that fly around and precipitate "sightings".

Pyramids...built by aliens.

Things you can only see from the sky.

Pictures of people talking on cell phones long before they were invented.

Decoding alien codes so we can communicate with future self aliens.

Stupid Endgame

Needless to say, my darling spouse is not being to helpful right now.  Also I should probably limit his Netflix account...and maybe hide his H.P. Lovecraft books...Anyways I'm gonna go read for a while and hope I am inspired to write a more coherent
and book oriented post next time.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Words From Head To Toe

I love shopping, I love reading and I love clothes...here is a way to show my love of all three in an entire outfit devoted to the written word.

Hat Books

Starting with the top, this stylish book hat will let the world know that you love books...and big hats.

Pride and Prejudice Scarf

Wearing this classic scarf not only makes you look elegant...but gives you something to read at the bus stop.

Sherlock Holmes

There are about a bajillion amazing awesome book shirts to choose from...seriously you could wear a different one every day of your life and never repeat...also saves on laundry

Peter Pan Writing Gloves

These gloves will keep your palms and wrists warm and literary while leaving your fingers free to write the next great American (or whatever country your from) novel.

Book Pants

These are the perfect pants to snuggle up and read in...also for the record there are way more books about pants then there are pants with books on them.

Bookworm Socks

I have these, they are awesome, they make everything better, that is all.

Book Lover Shoes

I am loving these shoes that are both stylish and readable!  Just don't get caught out in the rain...

Ok so this should be enough to get you started on your literary wardrobe...just try not to spend to much time reading yourself ok?  Happy Reading Everybody!

How To Make A Better Day In 10 Easy Steps

Soooo yeah...it's been a long four days and I am finally home for the next 24 hours.  I am tired, sore, hungry gross and in desperate need of a distraction.  Lucky for me I know just how to do that.
1. Take a long hot shower
2. Put on comfy clothes (unless your home alone then you can skip this step...just make sure the curtains are closed).
3. Pour the wine
4.  Pour some more wine 'cause who are we kidding here we know we are gonna drink it all.
5. Grab a book
6. Grab a couple more books just in case 'cause who knows how long it will be before we move again.
7. Go pee...'cause see above step
8. Turn off your phone...well turn off the ringer...well promise your self you will only answer if it is really really important...or Johnny Depp...or Thor..or that cute neighbor...
9. Read, drink, dream
10. Repeat until all better.
Happy Reading Everybody!

Reading My Own Blog

Hi All!  I have a confession to make...I love to read my own blog.  I'm sure that makes me all sorts of narcissistic (which is a word I can surprisingly spell on the first try), but there you have it.  I remember when I first started writing this little blog and Hubbin and I went through other blogs trying to decide what I liked and didn't like about each blog and what features I wished each blog had.  After all of that I guess it makes sense that I made my blog into something that I wanted.  I like to read my own blog for various reasons, mostly 'cause it is a sort of ongoing reading journal of my life.  I like seeing my stuttering start and how my blog has evolved and hopefully improved over the years.  I like to see my rambling list grow.  I like to see what I was thinking about at any particular time.  Mostly I like to read my ramblings to catch myself up on various books I have read.  I have

gone back and read most of my ramblings and it always interests me how I decided to try and put into words how I felt about a particular book and weather that is how I still remember it.  I have noticed a couple of things as I have read back through my posts.  I have atrocious spelling, grammar and editing skills...seriously I should probably hire somebody to look at each post before it goes up, it is really bad sometimes.  I can usually tell what mood I am in by reading my posts.  I desperately want to go back and rewrite or delete numerous posts...but I'll leave them 'cause they are still a part of the whole.  I had a friend tell me she reads my blog when she misses me 'cause apparently I write like I talk...which explains a lot.   I realized that when I am in one of my weird moods, when I feel a little lost, I read my blog when I miss myself too.  It's kind of a touch stone when I start to lose myself to bigger things.  Anyways, there you have my self-centered take on my own writing, take from it what you will, but I am kind of proud and glad that I like my own blog and will continue to write it for as long as it brings me happiness.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Don't Go Extinct

Dear Everybody, this is an important service announcement.

Don't go extinct...READ!!!!!  Happy Reading Everybody!

Plince And Pies

In honor of my childhood fave Beverly Cleary's 100th birthday, I decided to read one of my old school favorites by this delightful author.  I chose Emily's Runaway Imagination which has always been a favorite of mine as I can relate to having an imagination that can easily run amok.  This was a pretty quick read, as always SPOILERS AHEAD!

Emily is a girl around 10 years old who lives in a little town in Oregon that is on the brink of modernization.  This is a time where automobiles are a novelty that are just starting to become affordable, farms are still mostly worked by horses, electricity is becoming a bit more mainstream and young Emily is growing up in the middle of it all.  Emily also has an imagination that any child would be proud of.  The book follows Emily through many adventures starting with helping her spunky mamma start a neighborhood library.  Through out the book Emily bleaches a horse, wins a costume contest by accident, get's her dog renamed Plince, gets the hogs drunk, invents a new pie, and makes friends with the neighbor Fong Quock and in general has many adventures fueled by that crazy imagination of hers.  In the end everything comes out all right and the town gets its library.

Like I said this was a pretty quick read so I'm gonna forgo my usual detailed rambling in favor of a more free flow version.  This book is great for the same reason all the other author's books are great, she seems to remember what it was like to be a young person.  I very vividly remember getting into trouble, or having anxiety of really weird stuff that only made sense to my 9 year old self.  Emily's adventures are both specific to the time period, and totally relateable to anybody who has ever been a kid.  I remember reading this when I was a kid and totally understanding why Emily would bleach a horse, or being terrified of looking ridiculous in front of other people.  I also remember causing my self no end of troubles when my imagination took off into the most impossible of places...oh wait it still does :-)  I also identify with Emily's love of reading, and still love a super spooky book.  Overall even as an adult this book still appeals to the runaway imagination in me and I recommend it to pretty much everybody.  I give it 7 out of 10 to big high heels.
Happy Reading Everybody!

What Did I Just See On The Bookshelf ?!?

I am in a really weird mood right now...a whole bunch of bourbon and S'mores may have a wee bit to do with it...but anyways...what was I saying...Oh yeah!  To celebrate my mood of weirdness here are a couple of the weirdest books I have ever seen on a bookshelf (DISCLAIMER I have not actually read these so they may be awesome...).

What's Your Poo Telling You?

With expert advice on everything from the color to the "floatiness" of your poo, you will be completely covered in the feces area...bonus activity book sold separately (no seriously, there is an activity book!)

The Pantyhose Craft Book

To be honest I don't even remember the last time I wore pantyhose...much less made a windcatcher out of them...

How to Sharpen Pencils

Because apparently we have all been doing it the wrong way?

The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife

For those of us who can't bear the thought of going without...even after we have shuffled off this mortal coil.

Be Bold With Bananas

So many ways to go with this...so many innuendo's...so much weird!

Ok I'm sure you have all had more then enough of my weirdness today...so just go ahead and tell me the weirdest book that you have ever read/seen.  Happy Reading Everybody!

How I Make Friends

As if there was any question, I feel that books are the absolute best way to make friends.  I have made so many connections with the most amazing and random of people because of books.  I know we can be friends if you fulfill any of these requirements.

1. I see you read a book...pretty much anybody who reads can be my friend.

2.  I see you read a book that I love and you seem to love it too...then we will probably be best friends.

3.  You recommend a book to me we can be  friends

4.  You recommend a book to me 'cause as soon as you read it you knew I would love it because (insert awesome reason here)...we will probably be best friends.

5.  You quote literature at opportune moments, you can be my friend

6.  You use books, quotes, characters and settings to describe everyday life you will probably be my best friend.

7. You discuss books with me, you can be my friend.

8 You argue, gush, theorize, fanfic and parse out every iota of a book...you are gonna be my best friend.

9.  You go see a movie based on a book and put up with  my unending criticism...you can be my friend.

10. You go see a movie based on a book, in costume, at the midnight showing and actively help me record all the absurd departures from the beloved book while simultaneously secretly loving the movie...you are gonna be my bestie.

11.  You think taking me out to coffee at a bookstore is a perfect date...you can be my boyfriend.

12.  You constantly search out every library, bookshop and book event in a 500 mile radius, stand in line for half a day to get my book signed, hand over pretty much every shelf to my collection and constantly feed my literary addiction...I'm probably gonna marry you!

If you find your self in need of some extra literary friends, just follow these helpful tips and you too will find a friend...or if your lucky a bosom friend (anybody who gets this reference is automatically my best friend ever!)  Happy Reading Everybody!

Schizobookia

Hello all,  I would like to bring an issue to your attention.  It is the private shame of many a voracious reader and I think it is high time we brought this sickness to light.  Yes folks, I am talking about Schizobookia.  I am suffering from a bout of Schizobookia and want to let others know that they don't suffer alone.  Wait...what?  You have never heard of Schizobookia?  Seriously?  Schizobookia is when a reader starts a book, gets 10 or so pages in can't focus and then picks up a different book, and then a different book and then buys a ton more books and then starts those books and then finds a book she forgot she had and then starts that one as well.

The result is books all over the place with bookmarks and dog ears stuck in various states of unreadness and nothing actually getting finished. This is compounded by cantgetenoughbookitis in which the reader is continually acquiring books that just feed the Schizobookia.  I'm not quit sure what the cure is, but I need to find it and fast or I will be so overwhelmed by barely started book that I just might drown.  I have heard that actually finishing a book is considered a pretty sure fire treatment so I'm gonna go see if I can't buckle down and focus.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Bookshelfish

I'm out of bookshelf space again and the books are stacking up in random places.  I told the Hubbin that I was gonna get new book shelves and he called me bookshelfish...this may have something to do with the fact I keep moving his books off the shelves to make room for mine, but in my defense mine are WAY prettier.  The other issue we have is that I may be out of traditional wall space for new shelves, so here are some space saving book storage ideas that may help me and possibly you out.

Expandable Bookshelf

This bookshelf can expand as I buy new books...It's like a dream come true!

Bookwave

This bookshelf can hang anywhere so wall space is no longer an issue

Elastic Bookshelf

A perfect morphing design to squeeze in anywhere I can find a bit of space

Bookshelf Door

Not only is this practical (I have at four doors I could do this to), but you have the added bonus of instant secret door of awesome!

Sapien Bookshelf

This super stackable shelves essentially fit anywhere you can find a spot...I can imagine my house becoming a forest of these things.

Alrighty, now I have tons of idea's to counter my sweet Hubbin when he tries to tell me we are out of room...and if he is a bit less shelfish MAYBE I'll even give him his own book case...if he gets some better looking books.  Happy Reading Everybody!!!!

Heaving Bosoms And The Undead

My friend L called this weekend wanting to see the new Pride and Prejudice and Zombies movie "based" (note the quotes) on the book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame - Smith and Jane Austen which is an undead take on Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen...did you catch all that?  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Pride and Prejudice, and was actually quit pleased with the book Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, so I agreed to go.  After bribing him with Vanilla Caramel Bourbon Milkshakes (seriously Heaven in a chilled glass) Hubbin agreed to come with.  The movie was actually a lot of fun.  It did not really follow either book, but it did pay homage to it many times along with the original Colin Firth BBC version of the movie (seriously at one point the new Darcy does the whole white shirt into the water scene).

Where the book did it's best to essentially BE Pride and Prejudice as written just now with zombies, the movie decided to take on a bit of a different story line, adding in many battles and a four horse men/redeemable zombies sub-plot that was a bit confusing but did make for some great gothic battle scenes.  The casting was pretty spot on, with all the right people being young, beautiful and spunky.  My favorite casting was Lena Headey as Lady Catherine de Bourgh...even if they totally changed the character.  Over all the movie felt like a cheeky modern take on the Jane Austen era as a whole, with a loose arc of Pride and Prejudice laid over the top. There were tons of heaving bosoms barely restrained by corsets, dashing soldiers chopping at zombies and enough high class snark to please any Austenite.  I probably should not have enjoyed it as much as I did as it completely butchered both books...yet I had to give mad props to the pluck and fun of it all.  I have to think that if Jane Austen were alive today, these prim, proper and crazy characters would land within her scope and she too would enjoy the film.  I am not ashamed to say that I really had a good time watching this movie and will probably watch it again, just for the fun of it.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Midnight Rodeo

Hello all, how was your weekend?  Mine was fabulous and as it included reading and finishing a couple of books I thought we would start of the week with a rambling.  Today's book was a gift from a very good friend of mine who along with sharing my love of lights and sirens is possibly crazier then I am (in a good way).  She gave me this book for multiple reasons, some very personal and also 'cause she thought I would enjoy it.  She was right on both counts.  The book is Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson (who is also known as The Bloggess).  I'm gonna jump right in, as always SPOILERS AHEAD!

So this isn't really a book that one can sum up plot wise as it is more of a memoir/random topics/rambly style of book (which is probably one of the reasons I liked it).  Instead I will kind of go back and forth and...well...I call them ramblings for a reason.  The author is bat shit crazy...but so am I and so is most of the rest of the world, so this works for me.  She has been diagnosed with a number of illnesses both physical and mental and this book is a combination memoir and coping mechanism, with a great dose of suggestions for people who either have and/or are dealing with loved ones in the same position.  The author gives us glimpses into her life, some humorous as when she uses her pair of taxidermied raccoons (yep the same ones on the cover) to ride her cats in a midnight cat rodeo while battling insomnia.  Some are sad and scary while she shows us a night she pulls her hair and gouges her scalp to cause herself pain for reasons that are only partially known even to her.  Then we get a mix, like when she battled panic, fear and reason to board a plane with her friend to Australia to run around in a Koala suit and try and cuddle the bears.  These little pieces of her life are interspersed with introspection, therapy sessions and random musings.  A mix of entertaining, informative and for some of us very helpful.

I feel that this book is intended for a very specific audience.  First and foremost it is intended for other crazies like myself.  A lot of people hate that I throw that word around, they feel I am making light of a situation, or putting an un-PC label on people, but as a person with my own identified issues I love the word 'cause that's what I am folks.  Some days I'm crazier then others and some days my peeps are crazier then me, but I think that is part of what makes us interesting.  Anyways I think those of us who deal with the various stages, severities and varieties of what we have deemed mental issues, problems or illnesses will probably find some glimpse of ourselves and the struggles we face in this book.  I also feel the people who live with us, love us and deal with us (and face it probably have crazy of their own) would identify or at least nod and go "mm-hmm" when reading this book.  Other people (those rare so called "normals" with only "normal peeps) will get various mileage from it.  I had a bunch of stuff I was gonna write, but the more I think about it the more I feel like this book is gonna mean very different things to every person.  A lot of people will appreciate the humor...though many will be appalled that a functioning person can think the way the author does.  Many people will be able to use the tips and tricks...some will find them completely pointless.  A few of us will run out and buy a ton of spoons, tie them with silver ribbon and hand them out to everybody who needs extras and that is ok too. I like how the author does not disguise her struggles, and while she knows that she needs and can ask for help, she is not helpless.  She treats all her issues, physical and mental like diseases (which they are) and does what she can to treat all of it.  She tries when she can to use what resources she has to live a life worth living which is more then a lot of us can say.  I absolutely love that she reiterates over and over that she is not everybody and the each person has their own issues and her solutions are not the only ones, nor will they work for everybody.  I think the author just wants us to know we are not alone, and that it is ok to be broken, but we need to find, create and savor the good and pull those times out to get us through the dark parts. Overall I can't really talk about this book other then to say it was a good read, I got what I got out of it, I think everybody can get something out of it and that you should all go read it and tell me what you think. Also side note...I adore her Hubby who reminds me of a less crazy version of my own Hubbin.  I give it 8 out of 10 homicidal swans and will keep my happy days like pretty jewels to pull out on the bad days.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Mamma Shorts

My Mamma is here for a visit YIPEEEE!!!! We immediatly set about talking on one of our favorite subjects. Books.  This time though we got into an even better conversation.  Seems we have both been having some really lucid dreams that feel almost like stories.  So we poured a couple of Captain and Cokes and proceeded to discuss turning our dreams into short stories.

The result is a notebook full of short story idea's and a couple of slightly tipsy girls.  I'm am totally stoked for the rest of her trip which includes a day at the bookstore and at least one day nothing but coffee and reading.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Books Have Feelings Too

During one of our random conversations, Hubbin wondered aloud if using a bookmark made a book feel anal probed...yep conversations with the Hubbin ladies and gentlemen.  As weird as that remark was, it did get me thinking what books would say if they could talk.  Would they freak out every time I read in the tub?  Would the brag to the other books on the shelf when they got taken on vacation?  Would they feel lonely if they didn't get read?   I can just imagine the conversation now as I once again pull my worn copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe off the shelf.

TLTWATW: "Oh no not again...can't she read something else for a change?  My spine is cracked and tired."

Other book:  "Oh shut up, at least you get read, I've been sitting here so long I'm covered in dust!"

Book still in my vacation bag: "Hey at least you get to see daylight, I've been stuck at the bottom of this back since July"

Fancy Old Hardcover collectors edition book:  Hush children, thou all gettest a chance to interact, or at least see the reader...I am stuck all alone behind this glass, never to be held or read, only to be viewed through the barrier as an untouchable treasure."

Ebook: "I don't even have pages to turn...(sad face)"

It may be that I have to much time on my hands...or not enough, but I really think my books have some of the personalities and now must go pull out and hug each and every one of them...even the old collectors editions, just so that they don't get depressed and lose their pages (or words in the case of my e-books).  I encourage you all to go do the same.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Highly Inappropriate

If you guys knew how many times I had to stop myself from writing a highly inappropriate post...well you would probably never read this blog again :-)  Seriously though, some day's I have to completely rewrite my post, or at least have somebody with some sort of social decorum read it through.  I am a very candid person and my thoughts and views tend to just pour out with very little filter.  I am sure you have seen this come out a bit in some of my posts, especially my ramblings where I am not shy about talking about...well just about anything.

This sever lack of appropriateness is not at all helped by the sheer variety of books I read and the people I discuss them with (most of my friends are part of the firehouse and have even less of a filter then I do).  All that being said, I am quit proud of myself for keeping the majority of the these posts at a PG-13 or better level and will try to keep the really insane stuff to myself (or at least just share with those who won't have me committed).  Please let me know if I ever go to far...or if you want to see just how crazy I can be.  Happy Reading Everybody!

End Of Book Sadness

Can I just say I hate finishing a good book or series?  Seriously I get a sense of impending sadness when I get near the end of a book I love.  It doesn't matter if it's new, or a book I've read a thousand times, but there is a sense of loss when I finally close the book after the last page.  Now in someways (ok a lot of ways) I know this is silly.

I know I can always read the book again, I know that are always new amazing books to find...but still.  It's like hanging out with one of your favorite people, you know your gonna see them again, but every time they leave you still are sad.   I know this is not the worlds worst problem to have...but I don't care, I'm going to wallow in my end of book sadness, or at least start another one :-)  Happy Reading Everybody!

What's In A Name?

Sorry for the lack of post yesterday, had a minor emergency, but it's all good now.  To make it up to you I have a rambling of one of my favorite plays.  I love reading play, it's the theatre major in me, it takes me back to my stage days and just makes me really happy.  It is also a different way to get a story, everything broken down into scenery, stage directions, and script gives you most of the info you need, but allows you to imagine it any way you want.  Today's play is The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde and has long been one of my absolute favorite plays.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!

We start with our two main men, Algernon and John discussing a cigarette case that John had left at Algies house.  We learn that up until this point Algie had only known John as Earnest and John confesses that in the country he is John Worthing J.P., staid, respectable and normal owner of a country estate.  When things get to boring in the country, he tells his household, including his young and pretty ward Cecily Cardew that he must go to town and deal with his fictitious brother Earnest, whom while completely made up, manages to get into all kinds of trouble.  To this end when he gets to town, John is known as Earnest and lives a much more extravagant life style.  After hearing all of this Algie, who is a bit of a lackadaisical sort, decides he wants to meet miss Cardew.  John is
vehemently opposed to this, as he does not thing that Algie is a suitable mate for his ward.  While in town, in the guise of Earnest, John has been courting the glamorous Gwendolyn Fairfax and asks her hand in marriage. She readily agrees, but her overbearing mother the formidable Lady Bracknell who puts her foot down when she learns that Earnest/John has no real history other then he was found in a handbag in a train station and was adopted by Mr. Worthing.  John decides to go home and tell his household that his wayward brother has died and he will no longer need to go to the city.  Algy meanwhile decides to utilize his own fictitious friend Bunbury, who he claims is an invalid in the county to go pay a visit to the young Ms. Cardew.  We find our little Cecily in the garden, writing in her diary and filling her head with all sorts of romantic thoughts.  Algie, pretending to be Earnest arrives and woo's Ms. Cardew and secures a promise of engagement from her.  Ms. Fairfax arrives to talk to John...whom she still believes to be Earnest and runs into Ms. Cardew.  One of the funniest exchanges I have ever read occurs, with much confusion over to who is engaged to who, and which Earnest is which.  In the end the truth is revealed and both John and Algie officially change their names to Earnest to please their lovers and they all go off to live absurdly and happily ever after.

I cannot do justice to the absolute absurdity and humor of this play justice.  It takes the most ridiculous aspects of society and turns them into fodder for the audience to laugh at.  It is a fairly simple play, as in it has a minimum of characters and settings and is very easy to follow.  I have seen this play performed many times, been in it a couple of times, and even like the movie version with Colin Firth (of course Colin Firth is probably the reason I like anything I watch).  I love stories about
mistaken identity, when the premise is plausible, and while silly, all the events in this play could technically happen.  I also love love love the dialogue.  It is the height of...well I know I keep using this word, but it's the best one, absurdity.  The back and forth between Ms. Cardew and Ms. Fairfax is hilarious and just insane.  This play is not one about morals, or good and bad, or a great love overcoming all odds.  It is about a bunch of people who think they are smarter then they actually are, who get themselves into minor trouble, and then quickly get themselves out again.  All the misunderstandings are almost entirely the fault of the men in tricking the ladies...but also a bit on the ladies for swallowing every single story the men tell them.  There is no real bad guy, no real good guy, just a fun, silly story that highlights certain aspects of a particular society.  I love it.  I give it 9 out of 10 German Grammer Books.
Do you consider plays as books?  What is your favorite play?  Do I get utterly incomprehensible when I get gushy?

Carrot Juice Zombie Infection

Hi Everybody (Hi Dr. Nick), sorry a bit of Simpsons humor, couldn't help myself.  How is everybody on this fine snowy morning?  Everybody got a big cup of hot coffee?  Everybody got there big fluffy blankies? Everybody got their ax in case of a snowy zombie attack? Oh...I'm being told it wasn't actually a zombie attack this morning, just a bunch of idiots who can't drive in the snow...well zombies are way more fun so lets talk about those instead.  Undead by Kirsty McKay is a YA book about zombies read because it was handed to me by my Hubbin who said "this looks cool, you should read it and tell me what happens", so I did.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD.

Bobby has it rough, she is a British native who was moved to the US because of her mothers job and then back to the UK for the same reason, this gives her a weird American/British combo slang accent that apparently is the basis for her having no friends.  Her concerned mother has sent her on a school skiing trip in Scotland to try and help her make some friends. This backfires and Bobby spends most of the trip being teased or ignored.  They are finally on their way back and have stopped at some little cafe in the middle of nowhere for lunch.  Bobby decides she has had enough of the teasing and stays on the bus while the others go in and eat.  Smitty a rebel without a cause is also staying on the bus as his bad boy attitude has gotten him in trouble. Their teacher goes into the cafe to get Smitty some food.  Bobby meanwhile needs to pee...bad, which we all know is one of the worst feelings in the world, she does not want to face her fellow students so she attempts to use the bus bathroom, but is informed by the bus driver that it is not usable when the bus is turned off. Bobby notes a poor guy in a giant carrot suit passing out samples of some veggie carrot juice to all of the kids and teachers.  All of a sudden the bus is hit from behind and the driver goes out to see what happened.  Meanwhile one of Bobby and Smitty's classmates, the popular Alice comes screaming out of the cafe, yelling that they are all dead and generally being incoherent.  As they look around they see the teacher that went to get Smitty food come out all slathering, hungry, and gross.  The kids barricade themselves in the bus until Smitty realizes that the driver has yet to come back.  Alice stays in the bus while Bobby and Smitty go drag him in, noting what looks like a bite mark on his arm.  Chaos ensues and the trio along with the

unconscious bus driver end up at a near by gas station where Bobby finally gets a chance to pee.  They meet up with the pale and geeky Pete who has been hiding in the bathroom, and the unsavory Gareth who is the local gas attendant.  More chaos and more zombies and the gas station ends up in flames, incinerating a good portion of the undead.  Gareth runs away with the only laptop and the kids discover that their cellphones don't work.  They head back to the cafe where the bus driver turns and more chaos.  They hunker down and do their best to barricade themselves in the cafe.  Bobby passes out from hunger, which while embarrassing is the sign for them to go find food.  being that they are in a cafe it should be pretty easy, the only problem is they don't know what it is that turned all of their classmates, teachers, and cafe workers into zombies.  Eventually they puzzle out that it was the carrot juice samples and tuck into their sandwiches.  They hood up with Lily and her 3 year old brother Cam who lost their mother to the carrot juice zombie infection.  They find a castle and break in, hunkering down for the night.  The next day as they are exploring they find what looks like cells, with a headless body in one of them and a locked tower.  The current occupants of the castle come home turn out to be not very nice, they make prisoners of the kids and continue with their plans. Lily reveals that she found the tower key and they withhold the information from their captors who are desperate to find it.  More chaos (are you sensing a theme yet) and little Cam turns into a toddler zombie who promptly turns his sister.  The rest of the crew make it up to the tower and watch the very convenient destruction of their captors.  They go through all of the papers and realize that the company responsible for this zombie menace is the same one Bobby's mom works for.  We also find out that Bobby's dad has recently died of cancer and that she has never had a good relationship with her mom.  So very conveniently Bobby's phone starts working and her mom calls to tell her where to find the antidote and how to escape and bring it to her.  Bobby and company escape and trudge across the ice, being chased by zombies to a little island.  They make Bobby's mom tell them what the heck is going on.  Apparently the zombie disease has been popping up in isolated instances all over the world and Bobby's mother's company was hired to find a cure.   Unfortunately human greed jumped into the mix and the rest of the team sold the engineered disease to some baddies who want to use it as a weapon.  The company itself was actually using the cafe and the carrot juice as a controlled test and have plans to wipe out the whole area once the test has been completed.  They try to escape, but Smitty goes through the ice and is bitten by underwater ice dwelling zombies.   Luckily Bobby uses the cure (that could save all of humanity) on Smitty and hopefully that cures him.  They flag down a school bus that is also returning from a school trip and hitch a ride.  As she drifts off to sleep, Bobby see's a carton of the zombie carrot juice...and it is empty.  The book ends with her screaming that they all need to get off the bus.

Eh, the book was ok.  It kind of felt like on of those movies on Disney or Lifetime that you don't look for, but since their on and the remote control is on the other side of the couch you may as well finish it.  I think the book was going for a snarky/comic feel, on review compared it to Shaun of the Dead (such an awesome movie), but I don't think it quite made it there.  The characters were all stock characters, slightly exaggerated, I think the author was trying to use them as satire, or parody, but she did not go far enough.  The situations were uneven and were resolved either in a cliche way or by some randomly convenient event.  The story itself was very straight forward zombie apocalypse, which sometimes worked really well, and sometimes just felt boggy.   The ending made it very clear that there was a sequel coming, so of course very little resolution was presented.  On the plus side, the author did a good job addressing things I always

wonder about in these kinds of predicaments...like having to pee, you almost never see or read about our hero's using the bathroom, but seriously when you gotta go, you gotta go.  One of the main things I teach my recruits at the fire station is that if you have to use the bathroom, especially in the middle of the night, don't wait 'cause their is nothing worse then doing CPR with a full bladder.  Things like eating, peeing, clothes getting sweaty and gross, hair and make going to heck, all of these things that we would have to deal with in real life usually get glossed over, but are addressed in this book.  I also loved that the three year old cutie was the requisite person to turn. In these situations somebody in the main group ALWAYS ends up a zombie and I love that she made it the kid. I also love that the disease was handed out as juice samples by a giant carrot.  I understand what the author was going for in this book, I think she was trying to make teenage zombie book in the vein of a parody, but the execution was not effective.  It comes across as mushy, predictable and a wee bit annoying.  Also the blurb and back of the book description are not at all an accurate representation of whats in the book, nor is the front cover.  Overall I think I may have actually liked this better as a cheesy Syfy channel movie and I give it 4 out of 10 zombie infected carrot juices.
What is the best vector for a zombie infection?  How would you feel if you found out your mother was working for a zombie company?  How horrible would it be if they infected the coffee supply?!?