Finally A Usable Forcast

It has started snowing and the forecast is predicting everything from 1 inch to OMG WE ARE ALL GONNA FREEZE TO DEATH IN AN INCALCULABLE AMOUNT OF SNOW.  Lucky for us this local library has provided us with a much more accurate forecast

Anne Arundel County Library

This graph gives us an accurate estimate of how many books an average bibliophile will need to obtain before being snowed in.  Lucky for me, I have stocked up and am ready to go!  Happy Reading Everybody!

The Bells Of Death

Are we ready for some rambling?  Good 'cause here we go! Have you ever had the experience of picking up the perfect book for the perfect moment?  I started this book with no real idea of what it was about, other then I had seen it since I was little and that many people recommended it.  What I found was a great book that perfectly fit the cold and bleak atmosphere that has been pervading the East Coast this winter.  The book is Sabriel, the first book in the Abhorsen series by Garth Nix.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD.

This book is set in two very different realms within the same world.  There is Ancelstierre, a 1900ish era world that has science, cars, guns and the like.  In the north, separated by the Wall is the Old Kingdom, a land full of magic.  Our story centers on Sabriel, the daughter of a man called Abhorsen and sent from the Old Kingdom to live beyond the wall in a boarding school.  She receives an education not only in the normal stuff, but in the basics of what is called Charter Magic, which is what they call people who wield the "good" magic from the Old Kingdom.  Sabriel has plenty of contact with her father who teaches her to enter and walk among death, instructing her in the use of various Charter laden bells to help control the dead who seek to rejoin the living.  While at school she is visited by a shade messenger who brings her fathers bells and sword, signifying that her father can no longer use them.  Sabriel crosses the wall and is set upon by a dead creature who is intent on
killing her.  She narrowly escapes and finds her fathers house and learns that the term Abhorsen is the name given to the person who holds the office of Necromancer.  Unlike most stories, this is not a bad thing.  In this realm the Abhorsen work with death to make sure that the Free Magic (usually bad magic) is not used by the dead, or evil people to use the dead for unsavory purposes.  She meets Mogget, a Free Magic creature that has been contained in a cats body.  She continues her hurried education by learning that the Royal Family, who is instrumental to the health of the kingdom has disappeared.  After yet another dead minion tries to get her, she sets out to find her father and figure out just what the heck is going on.   Mogget joins her and she uses a construct from a previous Abhorsen to fly out of the residence.  She eventually finds one of the great Charter Stones cracked...which is really really bad as these are part of what keeps the good magic good.  She ends up down in a reservoir, rescuing a guy who appears to be in suspended animation from death.  Turns out he is a bastard prince who watched his half brother murder the Queen and Princesses to break the great Charter Stones.  The three of them set out to fight the undead shade of the princes brother and have various adventures in the old kingdom.  Eventually they learn that his body is in Ancelstierre and Sabriel and co head there to stop him.  Sabriel eventually finds her father, who is pretty much dead, but is able to help her out.  Sabriel and her friends convince the guard at the wall (who have some experience with the Free Magic) to help defend them until they can destroy the bad guy's body.  Much magic, death and mayhem occur, culminating in the destruction of the bad guys body, and apparently the victory of Sabriel and her friends.  The End.

Contrary to the brief and probably confusing synopsis I very much enjoyed this book.  The story hooked me from the first page and I kept turning them until the very end.  So what did I like.  I very much enjoyed the idea of two different realms occupying the same world and how they developed completely differently from each other.  I always wonder how a world with magic would develop, what technologies would and would not need to be invented and so forth.  This story does a bit of comparing and contrasting which I enjoyed.  Sabriel was a good character, capable, realistic and  aware of the gaps in her education.  She wants to go and get things done, but is able to actually plan and listen to her advisers without being a push over.  The atmosphere, especially on the Old Kingdom side with it's freezing bleakness was a perfect visualization of a glorious kingdom gone to seed.  I liked how death in this world worked, with it's various gates and levels gave a Dante's Inferno type feel to the whole thing, while still being very original and very complete.  The various tools the

Abhorsen had to deal with the dead were pretty cool too.  I loved the idea that the necromancers where no necessarily the bad guys in this story.  To often death is associated with evil, and while there were bad necromancers, the Abhorsen were good, necessary and revered.  What was not so awesome was a bit of ambiguity when it came to the history of the Old Kingdom and how the magic worked.  The author seemed to have a pretty rich back story to this world in mind as he wrote this book, and I got bits and pieces of it but for the most part you just kinda had to go along with it. I want to know about the Charter Magic, and the various lines of people/beings who created it, I want to know how the two separate realms came to be, and I want to know some of the personal history behind some of the various towns and peoples.  I'm hoping this is remedied in future books.  Speaking of future books, the ending to this one was way to abrupt for my taste.  I felt like we got this great story, a huge build up, a fabulous battle and that was it.  There was no real ending for any of the characters, just a bit of "Oh hey we won awesome so the stories over right?" type of vibe.  Overall a good read, a good story, good characters, and an original, fairly well executed idea. The whole book has a very neat vibe to it that I enjoyed very much.  I recommend it for anybody looking for something a bit familiar and a bit different at the same time, somebody who needs a good winter book, or just a good book.   I give it 8 out of 10 Charter Marks and will be picking up the next one shortly.
How do you feel about Death as a good thing?  How much time do you think I spend thinking about the logistics of theoretical worlds?  What other books have I been missing out on?

Where The Whales Go To Die

Growing up, one of my favorite movies was (and still is) The Island at the Top of the World.  It's a weird, strange movie, but it triggered my sense of adventure (and scared the bejeebus out of me) so a favorite it became.  I have recently discovered the book The Lost Ones by Ian Cameron, on which the movie was based, and fell in love with it as well. Since it is set in the frozen tundra I held on to it until winter set in.   Before we get into that though, as always SPOILERS AHEAD!

The book is written in first person/journal form and follows the strange adventures of Keith Rogers, a whaler; Professor Somerville, a teacher of flora and Captain Anthony McIver, a man looking for his son.  The Professor and McIver convince Rogers to come with them to find McIver's lost son Donald Ross.  Donald it seems has found some information on the mythical legend of a place where the whales go to die.  He was last seen hijacking a helicopter and heading out over the frozen tundra.  The threesome put together an expedition and head out in the undiscovered snow and ice to see if they can find out what happened to him.  As they travel, they uncover some unsettelling information about the mysterious island they are heading towards.  The island is Prince Patrick Island and there is no official record of anybody ever actually setting foot on the island and all maps, such as they are were made by aerial recon and even the aerial footage is iffy because of a perpetual mist that obscures parts of the island.  They are warned against the yellow-haired men that supposedly inhabit the island, confusing the trio as only Eskimos are known to inhabit any of the area.  Many cold

adventures follow, culminating with the men stranded on the mystical island, under siege by the mysterious yellow haired men.  They are captured and taken to an impossible city, that has survived and flourished due to thermal vents warming the area to comfortably habital temps.  The natives, who all sport blond hair, seem to live under a very medieval code of suspicion, taboo's, and rituals.  The men are found guilty of trespassing and are sentenced to death.  They meet Freyja, a girl who knew Donald, and was his lover.  She helps the men escape and promises to guide them to where she thinks Donald may be.  The place Freyja takes them is a sacred spot that only the Shaman's may go and look upon, keeping the natives in their grip.  After some more harrowing events the trio plus Freyja end up trapped on a sort of beach, along with numerous whale carcasses where they find Donald, alive.  They have finally found where the whales go to die.  Freyja tells them the story of how whales used to eat the young of other animals, and as punishment they were barred from heaven and must circle the waters of hell.  To this end, when a whale gets old it goes to a special grave yard to be tipped into the waters of hell.  This strange beach is littered with the bodies of all kinds of whales, and they are eventually carried by a river to an underground whirlpool, fulfilling the story.  The other part of this myth is the Guardians that Freyja is terrified of, which turn out to be very aggressive Orca's.  In desperation the five of them build a boat out of various whale parts and try and get past the Orca's.  Freyja, out of guilt and fear feeling that she is the reason the Guardians won't leave them alone is because of her, she jumps into the water, dying as she gives the men a way to escape.  They all finally head home and go about their various lives, always having this surreal adventure to think back on.

To be 100% honest, I was not prepared to like this book as much as I did.  I wanted to see the source material for my favorite movie, and found a decently written adventure.  It is hard for me to talk about the book without talking about the movie which are intertwined in my head, even though they are both very different.  I think what struck me most about both is the sense of adventure, the idea that there is something still unknown out there.  As a kid...ok even now, I always wanted to discover something, always looking over the next ridge, or opening the old doors, or squeezing through the holes, hoping to find something new.  I also love the idea of hidden things, lost things rediscovered, mystical myths and this book had it all.  The pacing of the book was surprisingly brisk considering 90% of it was spent trying to survive on the frozen tundra.  I loved the mix of science, exploration,

anthropology and myth.  This is one of those books that reminds you how many facets of life come together to form a culture ore society.  The actual physical book itself was also pretty neat.  The story was published in 1970 and the book I have was printed not much later, making the physical tome itself about 45 years old, which doesn't seem that old, until you realize that it is in paper back, still in one piece and older then me :-)  It felt like holding a discovery, which added to the enjoyment reading it.  Of course now I am terrified it's gonna fall apart.  I also loved the words that the author used.  One of my favorite things about older books is that people use grown up words in every day conversation, I miss that, none of this shortening or acronyming of words, just full, meaningful, beautiful words.    This book rekindled my love of adventure and exploring and now I want to go find more books like this.  I give this book 7 out of 10 sacred lockets and recommend it to anybody who likes adventure, myths, or snow.
When is it ok for the movie and the book to differ?  How awesome is the combo of myth and science?  Is this the reason people say "Hey this is a weird book/movie...I think you'll love it"?

One Last Bit Of Winter Fun

Well folks today is the last day of February.  I have just finished reading my winter books and am ready and eager to move on to my spring books.  But before we trade the snow and ice for rain and flowers here are a couple of winter wonderland tidbits to remind you that winter is not so bad.

Book Snowman

How cute is he?!?

Book Page Snowflakes

What a great idea for next year

Book Snow Sculpture 

An alternate to the traditional Snowman

Snowlady With a Book

Book Sweaters 

So your books don't get cold during your winter reading.

See winter isn't that bad, in fact it is kind of fun to have an excuse to curl up with blankie, a cup of coffee, and a great book for hours on end.  Happy last of winter reading everybody!

Are you scrambling to finish up your winter books?  Are you ready for spring?  Am I the only one who now has the urge to come up with a whole wardrobe for my books?

Carrot Juice Zombie Infection

Hi Everybody (Hi Dr. Nick), sorry a bit of Simpsons humor, couldn't help myself.  How is everybody on this fine snowy morning?  Everybody got a big cup of hot coffee?  Everybody got there big fluffy blankies? Everybody got their ax in case of a snowy zombie attack? Oh...I'm being told it wasn't actually a zombie attack this morning, just a bunch of idiots who can't drive in the snow...well zombies are way more fun so lets talk about those instead.  Undead by Kirsty McKay is a YA book about zombies read because it was handed to me by my Hubbin who said "this looks cool, you should read it and tell me what happens", so I did.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD.

Bobby has it rough, she is a British native who was moved to the US because of her mothers job and then back to the UK for the same reason, this gives her a weird American/British combo slang accent that apparently is the basis for her having no friends.  Her concerned mother has sent her on a school skiing trip in Scotland to try and help her make some friends. This backfires and Bobby spends most of the trip being teased or ignored.  They are finally on their way back and have stopped at some little cafe in the middle of nowhere for lunch.  Bobby decides she has had enough of the teasing and stays on the bus while the others go in and eat.  Smitty a rebel without a cause is also staying on the bus as his bad boy attitude has gotten him in trouble. Their teacher goes into the cafe to get Smitty some food.  Bobby meanwhile needs to pee...bad, which we all know is one of the worst feelings in the world, she does not want to face her fellow students so she attempts to use the bus bathroom, but is informed by the bus driver that it is not usable when the bus is turned off. Bobby notes a poor guy in a giant carrot suit passing out samples of some veggie carrot juice to all of the kids and teachers.  All of a sudden the bus is hit from behind and the driver goes out to see what happened.  Meanwhile one of Bobby and Smitty's classmates, the popular Alice comes screaming out of the cafe, yelling that they are all dead and generally being incoherent.  As they look around they see the teacher that went to get Smitty food come out all slathering, hungry, and gross.  The kids barricade themselves in the bus until Smitty realizes that the driver has yet to come back.  Alice stays in the bus while Bobby and Smitty go drag him in, noting what looks like a bite mark on his arm.  Chaos ensues and the trio along with the

unconscious bus driver end up at a near by gas station where Bobby finally gets a chance to pee.  They meet up with the pale and geeky Pete who has been hiding in the bathroom, and the unsavory Gareth who is the local gas attendant.  More chaos and more zombies and the gas station ends up in flames, incinerating a good portion of the undead.  Gareth runs away with the only laptop and the kids discover that their cellphones don't work.  They head back to the cafe where the bus driver turns and more chaos.  They hunker down and do their best to barricade themselves in the cafe.  Bobby passes out from hunger, which while embarrassing is the sign for them to go find food.  being that they are in a cafe it should be pretty easy, the only problem is they don't know what it is that turned all of their classmates, teachers, and cafe workers into zombies.  Eventually they puzzle out that it was the carrot juice samples and tuck into their sandwiches.  They hood up with Lily and her 3 year old brother Cam who lost their mother to the carrot juice zombie infection.  They find a castle and break in, hunkering down for the night.  The next day as they are exploring they find what looks like cells, with a headless body in one of them and a locked tower.  The current occupants of the castle come home turn out to be not very nice, they make prisoners of the kids and continue with their plans. Lily reveals that she found the tower key and they withhold the information from their captors who are desperate to find it.  More chaos (are you sensing a theme yet) and little Cam turns into a toddler zombie who promptly turns his sister.  The rest of the crew make it up to the tower and watch the very convenient destruction of their captors.  They go through all of the papers and realize that the company responsible for this zombie menace is the same one Bobby's mom works for.  We also find out that Bobby's dad has recently died of cancer and that she has never had a good relationship with her mom.  So very conveniently Bobby's phone starts working and her mom calls to tell her where to find the antidote and how to escape and bring it to her.  Bobby and company escape and trudge across the ice, being chased by zombies to a little island.  They make Bobby's mom tell them what the heck is going on.  Apparently the zombie disease has been popping up in isolated instances all over the world and Bobby's mother's company was hired to find a cure.   Unfortunately human greed jumped into the mix and the rest of the team sold the engineered disease to some baddies who want to use it as a weapon.  The company itself was actually using the cafe and the carrot juice as a controlled test and have plans to wipe out the whole area once the test has been completed.  They try to escape, but Smitty goes through the ice and is bitten by underwater ice dwelling zombies.   Luckily Bobby uses the cure (that could save all of humanity) on Smitty and hopefully that cures him.  They flag down a school bus that is also returning from a school trip and hitch a ride.  As she drifts off to sleep, Bobby see's a carton of the zombie carrot juice...and it is empty.  The book ends with her screaming that they all need to get off the bus.

Eh, the book was ok.  It kind of felt like on of those movies on Disney or Lifetime that you don't look for, but since their on and the remote control is on the other side of the couch you may as well finish it.  I think the book was going for a snarky/comic feel, on review compared it to Shaun of the Dead (such an awesome movie), but I don't think it quite made it there.  The characters were all stock characters, slightly exaggerated, I think the author was trying to use them as satire, or parody, but she did not go far enough.  The situations were uneven and were resolved either in a cliche way or by some randomly convenient event.  The story itself was very straight forward zombie apocalypse, which sometimes worked really well, and sometimes just felt boggy.   The ending made it very clear that there was a sequel coming, so of course very little resolution was presented.  On the plus side, the author did a good job addressing things I always

wonder about in these kinds of predicaments...like having to pee, you almost never see or read about our hero's using the bathroom, but seriously when you gotta go, you gotta go.  One of the main things I teach my recruits at the fire station is that if you have to use the bathroom, especially in the middle of the night, don't wait 'cause their is nothing worse then doing CPR with a full bladder.  Things like eating, peeing, clothes getting sweaty and gross, hair and make going to heck, all of these things that we would have to deal with in real life usually get glossed over, but are addressed in this book.  I also loved that the three year old cutie was the requisite person to turn. In these situations somebody in the main group ALWAYS ends up a zombie and I love that she made it the kid. I also love that the disease was handed out as juice samples by a giant carrot.  I understand what the author was going for in this book, I think she was trying to make teenage zombie book in the vein of a parody, but the execution was not effective.  It comes across as mushy, predictable and a wee bit annoying.  Also the blurb and back of the book description are not at all an accurate representation of whats in the book, nor is the front cover.  Overall I think I may have actually liked this better as a cheesy Syfy channel movie and I give it 4 out of 10 zombie infected carrot juices.
What is the best vector for a zombie infection?  How would you feel if you found out your mother was working for a zombie company?  How horrible would it be if they infected the coffee supply?!?

Winter Storm Warning...How To Make Sure You Are Stocked Appropriatly

So us East Coasters are supposed to get hit with a Snowmageddon II tonight...yep we like to name our weather events all kinds of awesome names.  This means one of two things, either we will be trapped in our homes for the next three weeks...or it will all be gone by 5am.  Of course just the mention of snow sends my fellow East Coasters into panic mode and they all go racing for the stores to stock up on bread, milk and crackers.  I bet you anything if I walked into any local grocery store those shelves would be completely empty and there would be a line of frantic angry people freaking out 'cause they need to get all their bread, milk and crackers home before the snow starts...in 9 hours.  YEAH!  All kidding aside though it is important to be prepared, so I started my preparations yesterday by going to the most important store when it comes to storm stocking, that's right folks my local Barnes and Nobles.  Lucky for me they also knew a storm was coming and had all the books I wanted just waiting for me to pluck of the shelves...my bank account maybe not so prepared :-)  Here is my all important list for getting through most major weather events.

1) Books!  This is the most important item on the list because they are useful in so many ways.  You can of course read them, you can get survival tips from them, you can build and igloo out of them, you can use them as a way to spell out HELP or SOS so the helicopters can find you, you can use them as weapons, you can use them as a reward or punishment in the post apocalyptic society that will naturally come about after three days stuck in the same house as that stupid person (people) over there!  Things you may not do with your books no matter what the emergency or you will go straight to book-less hell where the only entertainment available to you will be Keeping Up with the Kardashions and Tiger Beat.  You must never burn your books no matter how cold you think you are, you must not use them to build a raft, even if you think you can see land, you must never never never never leave them behind, they are your children and must be taken care of.

2) Coffee, so much coffee, lots and lots of coffee. Coffee is a miracle substance, it keeps you warm, alert, and contains most homicidal urges.  Coffee can be brewed, iced, rewarmed, added to, or just eaten straight from the bag/bin/tun it comes in.  Coffee makes you feel full so even if food is scarce you will survive, coffee cures almost all ills so no one in your group will every fall prey to stupid little diseases, coffee will revive the dead...just ask my Hubbin any given morning.  Make sure you have enough coffee for everybody in your group, about a pound a day per person should be enough...unless there is a super bookworm in your bunch, then you had better double it.  Make sure everybody consumes their full ration every hour, no matter what and you will survive.

3) Duct Tape-Need I say more?

4) Mad-Libs, this easy simple hilarious game can keep ANYBODY entertained for hours and hours and hours.  You can do a zillion variations, make up rules, themes and all kinds of fun stuff.  You can reuse them, play them by yourself, play with others, build a society around them.  If you have Mad-Libs you may survive this hellish ordeal with some of your sanity intact.

5) A sense of humor.  For some reason even the most prepared person seems to forget to pack their sense of humor.  Stuff if gonna go wrong, toilets are going to stop working, the laptop will lose it's charge, and the roads will be impassable the day you finally agree to watch your baby nephew...Deal with it!  A sense of humor will not only make life bearable for your fellow trapees, but for yourself as well. A well prepared sense of humor will make you the hero of any weather related disaster.

I hope this list serves you well as you hunker down for Snowmaicemonsterwindsofdoomageddon II!  I will be at the fire station answering the calls of the poor trapped souls in need of my crew and our magic ambulance, rescuing people who seem to close their eyes and drive if you even mention snow, and join into the never ending snowball fight that we have going between calls at the station.  I was not kidding however on stocking up on books yesterday and will be bringing them all to the station for in case we get stuck their (along with extra socks, you always need extra socks). I hope everybody has enough books to survive.  Happy Reading Everybody!
PS In all seriousness, please try and keep a path to your door for emergency crews should you need their help, it will make it safer for everybody, including the patient.  If you know a neighbor is house bound, or sick, or has a newborn baby, show some of that awesome Olympic spirit that has been going around and clear a path to their door.  Mark your fire hydrants and keep your address visible hopefully you won't ever have to see me, but if you do we will both be glad that the prep work was done.  Stay Safe!

Snow In A Globe

With all of the snow that has been flying around I feel like I have been stuck in a snow globe.  Here are some of our favorite literary moments that feel the same way.

Time Turner Snow Globe

I guess this is less a snow globe and more a sand clock, but still pretty cool.

Narnia Snow globe

I love how the whole thing is set on a book

Lord of the Rings Snow globe

The giant guardian statues was always one of my favorite parts of the story

Alice in Wonderland Snow Globe Bookends

Snow globe AND bookends, what could be better?

Romeo and Juliet Snow Globe

True love...before all the deadness starts :-)

Well it looks like the sun is starting to peak through, maybe I will get outside for a few minutes and maybe the feeling that I am trapped inside a snow globe will go away :-)  Happy reading