Schizophrenic Writing Of The Dead

In case you all haven't noticed, I love atmosphere.  I love to read just the right book, at the right time, in the right place, for the right mood and no month is more atmospheric then October.  To this end I picked up the book Death Watch by Ari Berk because both the cover and the description sounded perfect for a dreary October afternoon.  Unfortunately a lack of focus made this book less then it should have been, but first as always SPOILERS AHEAD!

I will do my best with this synopsis, but I have to warn you that this book was all over the place.  As best as I can tell there is a town called Lichport that has some sort of deal where the dead wander all over the place in various forms.  We get zombie like creatures, ghosts, ghouls and people who just refuse to be dead.  Enter the Umbers, an old family from Lichport who take on the role of Undertaker, who's job it is...well...I'm still not 100% sure what their job is.  I think an Undertaker is their mostly to help the dead along, fix troublesome dead people, and chit chat with the dead who hang around and are helpful.  The story part comes in when we meet Sila Umber, a teenage boy who just recently graduated from high school.  Silas is an odd duck, there is no real reason given, other
then he is weird.  Silas's mother has done her best to force his father to appear to lead a normal life.  The family lives in Saltbridge, a town close to Lichport.  Silas's mother insists that no word about his fathers real work be told to him, and Lichport is rarely mentioned in their home.  One day Silas's father does not come home.  Silas's mother does her best to keep things normal, but her excessive drinking and inability to understand her son makes her mean.  They move back to Lichport to live with Silas's rich Uncle (who is brother to his father) and right away he senses something is wrong.  He eventually discovers the house that his father worked out of while he was in Lichport and is given the keys and free reign to it by Mrs. Bowe a woman who helps the Undertaker with his ambiguous work. Silas finds a watch in his father's belongings that when stopped allows him to see the dead in their spirit forms.  The watch is called a Death Watch and is one of a zillion partially explained artifact that an Undertaker can use in his work.  About 37 different storylines appear and disappear through out the book.  In the end I guess part of what happened was that Silas's Uncle had a son who died and he has spent the last couple of years killing people to try and appease his ghost, including his wife, and Silas's dad.  He wanted to figure out a way to keep Silas with him, thinking that giving his ghost kid a "brother" would some how make him happy.  Uncle is chased out by assorted ghosts, ghouls, living, dead, zombies and birds that had something to do with the story and he eventually was trapped aboard a ghost ship of evil people...which also had its own partial storyline.  Silas takes up his dad's work and there are two more books to confuse us with.

This book took me forever to get through. It was long, meandering, and never really went anywhere. The overwhelming feel of the book was that the author had all of these ideas and stories and really wanted to get every single one of them into the book.  He also seemed to want to get every type of death ritual ever performed in the whole entire world a bit of spotlight.  All of this combined with the feel that the author was trying to keep us in suspense through out the whole book made it fell very muddy and boggy.  All of this could have actually worked if his editors had made him flow the story a little more.  I think the main story needed fleshing out and to flow beginning to end, with the rites and stories put in as vignettes or prefaces to the different chapters.  Instead it was all mixed together until you could not tell if what you were reading was part of the story, or a separate story, or if they had anything to do with each other at all.  These little mini-stories were not even kept together, even these were broken into pieces and scattered through out the other stories, so I spent a lot of time trying to piece everything together, with no real pay-off.  The town of Lichport itself caused me a lot of problems.  I think the author was trying to make the town its own character, which I have seen

done very well before so it is possible.  Unfortunately the town did not make a whole lot of sense.  It also suffered from way too much going on.  In some places old houses were inhabited by zombies that were not zombies, other places had crumbled into ghoulish unsafe place, there are random ghosts, some friendly some not, there are marshes that are haunted by mother/bird combo's, a pond that has a very frisky ghost that may or may not have anything to do with the story, there are random undefined beings that are helpful sometimes...or not.  There are also a very few living people who all except Uncle are keen to help Silas in his undefined work.  There are no rules at all for this town, there is random tidbits of history, but nothing to actually tell us what the heck is going on.  You also get the feeling that the undead WAY outnumber the living, and that the living are all leaving at some point anyways...which makes me ask what you need an Undertaker for if you are all on your way out?    The most frustrating thing about this book is that it could have been really cool and perfect for Halloween/Fall.   If the author had done better organizing the various stories, maybe added an appendixes for the parts that were not easily explainable in prose, and limited his stories to a few well told ones, instead of a zillion fragments I think it could have been a great book.  Alas as it stands this book is a great idea, but way to scattered and nebulous to be read with any real enjoyment.  I will have to give this book 5 out of 10 honey preserved bodies.  I do however seem to be in the minority as I know there have been several glowing reviews, which is awesome.  This is the best thing about books, I can think one thing, you can think another and we all get to decide for ourselves, YAY BOOKS!
What makes or breaks a book for you?  Is there such thing as too many stories?  Am I just not smart enough for this book?

And Everybody Dies

I love a good scary story.  I love the chill that goes up your spine, the jumpiness when a door creaks, the urge to turn on a light after you have read a particularly spooky story.  This year I have been searching for a good collection of scary stories and one of the books I read in the never ending quest for a good scary story was Uncle Montegue's Tales of Terror by Chris Priestley.  It is a book of short stories, tied together by the over all story of Uncle Montegue and the stories he tells his nephew.  Here are some of my favorites in the collection.

Climb Not - A boy finds a strange tree on his new estate, and against all warning climbs it.  He is chased by an unknown presence and is ultimately killed.  This is the kind of story that I find scary, one where force is never seen, leaving me to imagine the worst.

The Un-Door - This story features the classic twist of the con-woman becoming the victim when a face seance team discovers that ghosts are real.  Our fake assistant/thief becomes trapped in a doll-house when a supposed fake seance becomes very real.

Offerings - Every parents worst nightmare comes true in this story of a sweet little boy who befriends a deamon.  When a preacher and his family move to a new town, their little boy turns from an innocent lad into a demon influenced killer.

The Gilt Frame- A story about a girl who finds her wishes are coming true in the most horrible of fashions.  This realization becomes even more horrific when she realizes that it is she, and not the girl in the mirror who is bringing this awful events about.

The Path - A boy who is becoming a man decides to leave his small village.  As he is walking up the hidden path, he realizes he is being followed.  He tries to out run this apparition, only to realize it is a bloody, injured, ruin of himself...which turns out to be a terrible foreshadowing of his own fate.

I read a couple of these stories to my Hubbin as we drove through the back roads in the middle of the night and the atmosphere was fantastic.  I found these tales to be moderately spooky, but at the same time a bit predictable.  I found it a bit crazy that in every story somebody died a horrible death...or became a monstrous killer...or both.  Over all the atmosphere, illustrations, and the writers tendency to kill people made this a decent Halloween read.  I give it 7 out of 10 demon bench ends.

What makes a story scary for you?  How do you feel about everybody always dying?  How dangerous is it to scare the person driving you around?

Ghosts and Pumpkins

I have been inspired by my own blog to make myself some spooky literary decorations.

It's a little hard to tell from my amature photography, but I made these out of heavy card stock that I had printed lines and lines of my favorite book quotes.  I have to say I am quit proud of my artistic prowess and may quit my job to sit around making arts and crafts out of quote paper :-)  Happy Reading Everybody!

Sleepy Hollow

Sometimes it surprises me where pop culture icons come from.  Most people in America (and other places I am sure)  know about The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving...or at least they think they know the story.  This is a great little short story that is left open and ambiguous enough to not only be a great little story in its own right, but to be the basis for a whole host of awesome adaptions. (SPOILERS TO ALL KINDS OF BOOKS, STORIES AND MOVIES AHEAD...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

The story is a simple one.  A little village in Colonial New England is the site for several tales of hauntings, and ghoulies and ghosties.  The very atmosphere of this little village just begs for spooky story's to come into being.  Enter our "hero" Ichabod Crane, a foppish dandy of a school teacher who thinks highly of himself.  He falls for the coquette Katrina Von Tassel and makes a play for her hand in marriage.  This does not sit well with the resident "it" boy Abraham "Brom Bones" Van Brunt, a fun loving mischievous bear of a man who rides with his posse through out the area, causing mayhem, but not maliciously.   Ichabod attends a party with the hopes of gaining the lovely Katrina's interest and is regaled with many eerie stories.  The main story in the area is of a Hessian soldier who's head was shot off by a cannon ball.  He is called the Headless Horseman and can be said to be seen riding between the battlefields and the church searching for his lost head.  After being rejected by Katrina, a dejected Ichabod starts his ride home, the tales of the Headless Horseman fresh in his head.  He see's a shape and hears a sound and is set upon by a giant on a horse wielding a fiery pumpkin for a head.  The apperation chases our hero across the bridge and to the church, where he proceedes to hurl his pumpkin head at the unfortunate Ichabod. Over the next week, no sign of Ichabod is seen, other then his hat lying next to a smashed pumpkin.  Some people claim to have seen him back in the city, continuing his educational goals.  Others claim that he was taken away on the back of the Headless Horseman's horse.  Brom however gets a certain gleam in his eye every time the story is mentioned.
Just a quick little 20 page story, but it has become the basis for many popular and on occasion terrifying movie, here are three of my favorites based on this little tale of terror.

Yep this is Sleepy Hollow the tv show and I am not ashamed to admit I am a little obsessed...it may have a bit to do with the delicious Tom Mison, but I love this crazy, convoluted tale of awesomeness.

Sleepy Hollow the film takes each bit of this little story and expands it as far as it will go...also Johnny Depp

This combo Disney show The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad is probably the most faithful adaption of the original tale.

Between the story, tv, and movies hopefully you will find a version of this classic American scary story to suite your needs, or if none of these do it, feel free to make up your own version.

What is your favorite version of Sleepy Hollow?  Do you prefer the scary versions or the silly versions?  Who loves the Horseless Headsman commercial by Snickers?

Living With The Dead

October is my month for reading, every book I have read so far this month has been pretty wonderful and The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Dave McKean is no exception.  I have to admit, I was a tad bit anxious when starting this book because while I love Mr. Gaiman's graphic novels and short stories, his full length novels usually are not my favorite.  But the premise of this one sounded interesting, and it was in both the kids section and the adult section so I thought I would give it a go, and boy am I glad I did.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!

A man makes his way through a house in England, killing a mother, father and sister, he has only one victim left, the baby. The baby however is a curious sort and took advantage of the door left open by the killer to crawl to a little graveyard near his house where he is adopted by a pair of ghosts (Mr. and Mrs. Owens) and promised to be looked after by a not dead, yet not alive being by the name of Silas.  This is how Nobody Owens (called Bod) came to live in a graveyard and be raised by ghosts.  We follow Bod as he grows from a baby to a young boy, making friends with the other ghosts and sleeping in the cozy tomb of his adopted parents.  As Bod grows a bit older he befriends Scarlett a little girl who sometimes plays in the graveyard
(which has been turned into a historical nature preserve).  He takes the girl to a very ancient tomb deep under ground and becomes acquainted with the Sleer, an ancient guardian who uses fear to protect his treasures and awaits a new master.  Scarlett eventually moves away and Bod is given a living tutor by the name of Ms. Lupescu, while Silas is out on a secret mission.  Bod is not thrilled with the lessons he receives from his tutor, which include calling for help in every language imaginable. Feeling upset Bod is lured through a ghoul stone and taken to be made into a ghoul.  Lucky for him he is rescued by a huge grey dog, which just happens to be Ms. Lupescu.  This bonds the two and Bod is more willing to learn from her.  As Bod grows, he realizes that he needs to learn more and asks to be let out of the graveyard to go to school.  Silas is very against this, as they cannot protect Bod if he is not in the graveyard.  Bod is then told of the man who killed his family, and has vowed to kill Bod.  Bod uses this knowledge to get Silas to allow him to go to school so he can be prepared to meet the killer (who is called Jack) when the time comes.  Bod slips into school and uses his graveyard skills of Fade to remain largely unnoticed, until he helps out a couple of kids who are being bullied.  After a narrow escape from the police, Bod agrees to not go back to the school, but rather get his learning from, libraries and other sources.  Scarlett moves back into the area and meets up with Bod again.  She also befriends a gentleman by the name of Mr. Frost who is interested in the history of the graveyard.  Meanwhile, Silas and some of his friends have gone off on another mission, losing compatriots along the way, but eventually succeeding at the cost of all but Silas. Back at the graveyard we find out the Mr. Frost is actually the killer Jack, who belongs to a secret society who perform evil deeds to increase there power.  The reason they are after Bod is that it was prophesied that a boy from that family would be the groups demise, and killing the rest of the family was just for evil fun.  Bod enlists the help of his ghost friends and Scarlett and traps all of the men who are after him.  This effectively ends the secret society of evil as Silas and his crew have been traveling the world eliminating all of the other members.  Scarlett is pretty messed up over the whole deal and Silas erases her memories of the graveyard and sends her home. After some time has passed Bod realizes that it is getting harder to live in the graveyard, he cannot touch or even speak to all of his friends and he is getting restless.  Silas tells him now that the danger is passed it is time for Bod to rejoin the living.  The story ends with Bod bidding his ghost family fair well and setting out to live his life.

I think part of the appeal of this book is that I started it right after visiting that amazing grave yard in Pennsylvania, so I already had the perfect setting in my head. From there this book just burrowed into my head and lived there very happily.  This book is the perfect mix of story, characters, and just enough spooky to make it perfect dark and stormy night reading.  I loved watching Bod grow up in this unusual environment, seeing the challenges of raising a living child among the dead and how they overcame them was pretty cool. The various creatures and inhabitants of this graveyard all lent character, humor, and sometimes a bit of
sadness to the whole story, really giving it some depth.  The ghouls in particular where my favorite, there macabre sense of humor, the obvious crazyness, and just the sheer weirdness of their own little realm really popped for me, I kind of picture them a bit like the Lonesome Ghosts.  A lot of my love for this book comes from the acceptance of the ghosts of this little living child, and the sheer normalcy for Bod growing up in this strange place.  The illustrations add some great atmosphere, kind of giving you a glimpse of what the story looks like, while not robbing your imagination of filling in the gaps.  I seriously want to go to every graveyard I can find now and see what stories I can piece together from the tombs, headstones, crypts and general atmosphere.  The only criticism I would have is the reason for the killer chasing Bod down so relentlessly, for being the whole reason for Bod's growing up in a graveyard I thought it was glossed over pretty quickly with a pat answer and very little detail.  That being said the story was more about Bod and his everyday life and less about constant action and danger. Overall I very much enjoyed this book, and it will probably get reread and will most definitely be given to the nephews when they are a little older.  I give it 8 our of 10 ghoul stones.

What is your favorite kind of ghost story? Does visiting certain places make reading books set there better, or do you prefer to leave it all to your own imagination?  Is it creepy that I want to go live in a graveyard for a little while?

Kidoween

Watched Hocus Pocus last night, definitely one of my favorite Halloween movies.  I then spent the rest of the night discussing with my two sisters how to best get together one Halloween and dress up as the Sanderson sisters, all in all a very good night.

A little creepy for a children's movie

This got me thinking how much I enjoy kid stuff around Halloween.  The books and movies intended for the younger crowd are surprisingly dark and delicious, here are a few of my favorites when it comes to Halloween Jr.

Cinderella Skeleton

A new acquisition this year and it is wonderful, the illustrations are graveyard perfect, the story is written in spooky rhyme and it is the perfect book for any fairytale/undead lover.

A Halloween Treat

Anything by Edward Gorey is gonna be a little on the awesomely grotesque side, but this one is perfect for a pre-trick or treat read.

I Spy Spooky Night

I love all of the I Spy books (note to self buy more I Spy books).  This one is always a favorite with the young crowd.

The Berenstain Bears: Trick or Treat

Ah nostalgia plays the biggest role in this pick.  I love me some Berenstain Bears!

The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything

I love the colors in this book, it is also awesome to read out loud you get to make lots of scary noises :-)

Hopefully these have inspired you to give the children's section a quick glance next time you are at your local bookstore, I have most of these on my shelf and I don't even have the excuse of kids (unless you count the six foot tall one I am married too!).  

Ok ok here is the other awesome song!

Grave Authors

So between my trip to the old graveyard in Philadelphia and my absolute love for some of the spooky books I am in the middle of reading and the scary movies I have been watching non-stop I have been a bit obsessed with gravestones/crypts/tombs.  I know it is a bit macabre (man I love that word), but hey tis the season right :-)  Here are some grave sites of some of my favorite authors who are now writing from the other side.

C.S. Lewis

 I love this clean and simple just like his stories.  I also like that he was buried with his brother because family was very important to him.

J.R.R. Tolkien

Buried with his wife they have the names Luthien and Beren inscribed under there names, referring to the most beautiful of the Children of Iluvatar becoming mortal for the love of Beren...even his grave site is a story

Anne McCaffery

Note the curled up dragon forever guarding our Dragonwriter of Pern.  Up above is a curled up kitten to also keep her company.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Though avowedly not a Christian (he considered himself a Spiritualist) he was eventually buried under a cross in a church with his wife.  The last words he ever spoke were to his wife telling her "You are wonderful"

William Shakespeare

He is actually buried inside of a church instead of in a traditional graveyard.  His epitaph is also a curse on anybody who would try and remove his bones from this place!  

Well there you have it, a little glimpse into my slightly twisted frame of mind this morning.  I hope you found it informative and only a little creepy.  Have duty this weekend so come back on Monday to see what kind of blood and guts mood I am then.

What authors grave site would you like to visit?  What sort of blessing/curse would you put on your headstone?  Am I really weird or just in the Halloween mood?