Showing posts with label mermaids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mermaids. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Seaborn Transformation

Woohoo, my first rambling from the new house!  With the triple digit heat I thought I would ramble about a summer book.  The book is The Mermaid's Sister by Carrie Anne Noble.  I got it as an e-book a while ago and totally forgot I had it until my fire station book group were all going through our e-books to see what we wanted to swap.  This book checked off my love of fantasy, mermaids, adventure and family.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!
 Clara and Maren are two very special sisters that were left as infants on the doorstep of the mountain healer/hedgewitch whom they call Auntie.  Maren was left in a giant conch shell in the middle of the path and Clara was brought by a stork.  They are raised by Auntie who regularly tells them the story of how they came to live with her.  The little family works, plays and loves together spending 16 happy years.  The whole time Auntie makes it very clear that Maren will eventually turn into a mermaid and need to be returned to the sea.  At the start of the book we see Maren starting her transformation with her fingers and toes starting to webb and spending hours under water.  Clara is both sad and angry at what she feels is the loss of her beloved and vibrant sister.  Clara spends a lot of her time trying to find a way to keep her sister human.  A welcome break comes in the form of a visit from Scarff and his adopted son O'Neill traveling peddlers of wonders.  Maren in her bold and brash ways flirts with O'Neill intimates that they will some day get married.  O'Neill seems to return her affections, sitting with her as her transformation forces her to live almost full time in a giant tub of water.  Clara finds that she is jealous of O'Neill's attention to her sister and at the same time ashamed that she would ever want to deprive her sister of any happiness.  After trying multiple spells and cures it becomes apparent the Maren will turn completely into a mermaid and that she will need to get to the ocean to survive.  O'Neill and Clara pack up the now water bound Maren into the peddlers wagon and off they set.  Along the way Clara and O'Neill become close, with him telling her it was always Clara he loved, but he felt like a protective brother to Maren and wanted to protect and make her happy.  After a couple of adventures, the peddlers wagon catches on fire and the trio are "rescued" by Dr. Phipps and Company Medicine Show, which consists of Dr. Phipps a show man with a temper, his exotic wife Soraya and their brute of a son Jasper.  Dr. Phipps puts Maren, who has pretty much finished her transformation on display and charges for tickets to see her.  Dr. Phipps and his family use fear and intimidation to keep the trio with the show.  Eventually after mass chaos and such most of the Phipps family is killed and Clara and O'Neill are able to get Maren away.  They get to the sea and the mermaids come and welcome Maren home.  Clara is sad to lose her sister, but recognizes how happy Maren and that she truly belongs in the sea.  Clara and O'Neill decide to get married and return to the mountain where the very happy Scarff and Auntie have made their home.  While they all miss Maren, they realize the best thing to do is live their life to the fullest and be glad that Maren is also happy.

World Building - The world is a mix of medieval Europe with a bit of magic and fantasy thrown in.  The world itself if fairly generic but provides a good setting for the story.  The best part of the world building is Dr. Phipps show which is in turns interesting and horrific.  Not a whole lot to say about the world other then it was a pretty solid canvas in which to tell the story.

Story - The story was very well done.  I felt it was original, detailed and all flowed together in a layered complexity that gave the story depth without confusing the reader.  I like all the elements that came together in the story, mermaids, adventure, family, love, hate, anger, sadness, heroism, everything that makes a good rollicking tale to tell.  I also like that while it had all the elements of a typical fantasyish book, the story felt wholly original and fresh without straying to far from a comfort read territory...not sure if any of that made any sense...but...yep

Character - The characters in this book I felt were very strong.  While they were mostly written to fit the tropes (dutiful sister/daughter, brazen young woman, heroic boy, enigmatic yet motherly hedgewitch, etc) each character seemed to have personality quirks and sparks that made them come alive past the cut and paste basics.  It is nice to see a writer who can nod to the classics when it comes to characters and yet still make them individual and vibrant.  With the new trend in subverting all known tropes, it is refreshing to see a classic worked in such a well written matter.

Editing - The editing was good.  The story was just the right length.  The book was readable and followed through with all of its promises.  The voices were clear and consistent.  Editing was good, with nothing about it that took me out of the story.

Mermaids - I love mermaids, after dragons they are my favorite supposed mythical creature so I enjoy reading any decently written story that involves them.  For the most part I very much enjoyed how the author dealt with the mermaid aspect of this story.  Pretty much Maren was the only mermaid we really dealt with so we did not get...or need to know the whole history of this worlds mermaids.  I liked watching this feisty girls transformation from a passionate young woman to a happy and free mermaid.  The description of her transformation was interesting and pretty and her love of the sea from the very beginning was very clear.  The only thing I wanted to know was why Maren was human at all in the first place.  Is it something that all mermaids start as humans then transform?  Was there special circumstances in Maren's case?  How did Auntie know that she was always going to turn?  Other then that I loved all the mermaid parts.

Traveling Peddlers/Shows - I have always liked the idea of traveling shows and peddlers.  The idea of people traveling all over the place, collecting stories, artifacts, acts and people.  I like that these
things become a bit of a touchstone of far away places.  In this book we see two extremely different examples of this.  We have Scarff and O'Neills wondrous wagon full of amazing things from far off places all with stories of their own.  On the flip side we have Dr. Phipps traveling show which show cases the darker side of these types of shows.  Enslavement of people and creatures for show, exposing of young ladies for the entertainment of others, tyranny and fear.  I like that this book showed both sides of the coin both how wondrous and potentially horrific these things can be.

Family - I think my favorite thing about this book is the concept of family.  Not a single one of our good guys is related by blood and yet they all consider themselves family.  They love each other as sisters, as mother and daughters, as father and son, as uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews all sorts of familial ties.  This really drives home the point that you do not have to be related by blood to be family.  I love this sentiment, especially in this world of blended families, surrogate families and people just needing people to count on.  In stark contrast we have the Phipps family, who are a family in the traditional sense and they mostly look out for themselves and terrorize each other.  I like that the author is able to point out that family is family either by blood or choice and that just 'cause your family doesn't make your relationships perfect and that if you are not related by blood it does not make you any less family.

Overall the book was pretty good.  Not spectacular, but still very solid.  It made a great summer reading book and with the acknowledgement of a few raised eyebrow moments in the traveling show I would recommend it to anybody over the age of 12 who wants a good original story to sit down and read.  I give it 7 out of 10 pearl tears and am very glad I found it on my phone just in time for summer.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Creatures Of The Deep

Fall is just around the corner, I can feel the air starting to change YAY!  First, how about one last summer book ramble?  OK here we go.  Today we will go through the short story collection Mermaids and Other Mysteries of the Deep edited by Paula Guran.  I got it to read on the cruise, 'cause what better place to read about water creatures then in the middle of the ocean.  I did not get to finish it on the cruise, then it took forever 'cause I could only read it next to water.  But here we are and it is finished and here are my favorite stories.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!
Miss Carstairs and the Merman by Delia Sherman - Miss Carstairs is an old maid scholar who is obsessed with learning about the natural world.  One day she get's a hold of what turns out to be a merman and the exchange of learning that happens between the two is pretty cool.  This is one of those stories that makes is both familiar and introduces some new ideas that make you go hmmmm in a good way.  I would read a whole book about this woman and her explorations.

Sea-Hearts by Margo Lanagan - An island where all the wives and mothers are captured Selkies is the setting for this story.  It is told from the prospective of a child and is in parts magical, disturbing and melancholy.  I always like tales set in isolated places, seems to add to the atmosphere of what is possible and the unusual perspective gives you time to figure things out for yourself.  The bond between husband and wife, mother and child and captor and captive is explored in a vary unique way.

Each to Each by Seanan McGuire - There are several stories about humans adapting to live beneath the waves in this book, but this one was probably my favorite.  I think what I liked best about this story was the fictional science behind it and the descriptions of the various types of sea creatures the girls used to turn themselves into the proverbial "mermaid"  The transformation from women to sea creatures in this tale is a pretty cool path to follow.

Salt Wine by Peter S. Beagle - A man saves a merrow (a male mermaid) and in return gets the recipe for Salt Wine, a wine that encapsulates the sea in a drink.   The man and his friend build an empire around it only to discover that on the rare occasion, the drinker of the Salt Wine turns into a mermaid/merrow.  In the end the man to his sorrow discovers that his beloved wife had fallen victim to the Salt Wine and turns into a mermaid herself.  A very interesting tale of the sea.

A Good Husband by Angela Slater - We leave the sea for a small lake in this tale and visit a water spirit that lives in the lake.  We watch her interact with the women and girls of the local village through out the years and finally see her help a girl with an abusive relationship.  I like the completely different take on a water creature that this story takes and enjoyed it thoroughly.
Overall I had mixed feelings about this collection.  I wanted a lot more variety.  Several of the stories felt extremely similar and had a "I'm trying to be cooler then I really am" vibe to them.  If you have no idea what that last phrase means, I don't blame you, let me try and explain.  A good chunk of the stories tried to be mysterious and allegoryish and esoteric and to me they just came across as a story that didn't go anywhere with lots of big words.  Sometimes it's ok to have a story or two in a collection like this, but this book felt like at least half of them had the same vibe.  I just feel that the subject matter had so many zillions of ways that an author could go with and that they all felt similar was disappointing.   That being said, the stories I did like, I really really liked so there was that. Also the cover is pretty awesome.  I give the collection as a whole a 6 out of 10 fish tales and recommend it to anybody who likes mermaids, the ocean or fish.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

End Atlantis Begin Again

Hola Readers.  How are you all?  Are you ready to hear about a book I read while on vacation?  Good, the book is Prospero's Children by Jan Siegel.  I picked this book up at the used book store 'cause the cover was cool and it totally looked like a great vacation book and I WAS RIGHT!!!!  Why was I right (I mean besides the obvious I am always right)?  I'll tell you, but first, as always SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!
I will warn you that the book is a bit convoluted, but I will do my best to sum it up in semi coherent manner, but your best bet is just to read it.  The book is divide into two parts plus a prologue and and epilogue.  Ok let's get to this shall we?  A man is desperately trying to keep his ship afloat amidst the biggest storm the planet has ever seen.  He fails and drowns, his body taken by a mermaid for her collection after she notices a peculiar key around his neck.  Untold years later the mermaid gives a fisherman the key as payment for his son who died after capturing her.  We then come to present times and the first half of the book.  We meet Fern, a 16 year old girl who has turned very practical after her mother died so that she could keep her flighty father and younger brother in line.  She has been doing very well acting the keeper of the house until her father inherits an old house of a relative who was a sea captain.  Fern is not thrilled to spend her holiday in the country, but makes the best of it.  While there, she and her brother Will discover many locked trunks and cabinets, but no keys.  Meanwhile, Fern and Will experience many strange sounds and sights in and around the house.  This does not trouble Will, but Fern has a hard time reconciling it all with her practical way of thinking.  Eventually Fern meets with a man called Ragginbone who hints that there is a lot more going on then they know.  Alison, a coworker of Fern and Will's father offers to "help" them get the property ready to sell.  As soon as she arrives, something seems off and even more strange things happen.  Turns out everybody seems to be searching for a mysterious key that has insane powers.  Fern and Will eventually discover that the key was made from a mysterious source called the Loadstone, an object that held great power and was the center of the culture of the fabled Atlantis.  It seems that the Loadstone altered the Atlanteans genetics, enhancing them to now wield all sorts of useful powers. The people who have these powers are called Gifted and to this day, the few descendants of the Atlanteans still have it.  Fern discovers that she has the Gift.  The Loadstone was destroyed when the last queen of Atlantis Zohran, decided that she wanted to make a key to the Gate of Death so that she would become truly immortal.  This act caused Atlantis to be destroyed and the all powerful key to become last.  Alison, along with an Old Spirit by the name of Azmordis are desperately searching for the key for their own ends.  Turns out that the key is in the house.  Much crazyness ensues (this happens in most books I read) and the key is found, then taken by Alison.  When she opens the Gate, instead of death, she opens a door in time to when the last queen also opened the door causing a time paradox AND the huge wave that destroys Atlantis comes through the door, drowning Alison and wreaking all kinds of havoc in the little town.  Time is now all messed up and Fern is told that the only solution is to go back in time and use the key to lock the door from the other side.  Fern uses a picture as a focus and goes back in time, followed by Azmordis.  The second half of the book shows us how Fern (who has had all her memories replaced by ones that fit the time period better...yeah I know that doesn't make sense, read the book) runs around Atlantis making friends and living out the final days of that fabled city.  The most significant person Fern meets is Rafarl, an Atlantean noble who helps Fern on her quest.  As always more crazyness ensues and after watching the queen Zohran open the gate only to find Alison on the other side and the beginning of the destruction of Atlantis, Fern gets a hold of the key.  Even though she tried to make Rafarl go and escape the coming destruction, he comes back for her (aw, true love, stupid, but sweet).  They go to his ship, but they are perused by Azmordis who wants the key.  Fern gives the key to Rafarl and gives herself up to buy them some time.  The giant wave hits and Fern jumps to the sea.  Fern wakes up back in her own time, with a very worried brother and father.  All seems to be well, as the time leaks have stopped thanks to Ferns sacrifice.  She misses Rafarl, but starts to look forward.  The book ends with Rafarl doing his best to keep the boat afloat, but to no avail.  As he drowns a mermaid takes his body, fascinated by a mysterious key.
Soooo that really did no justice at all to this book.  I can't even begin to get into all the great detail, characters and just coolness that this book held, seriously go read it.  This book was a great book from a first time author who did several things I really liked.  First of all, I like this interesting re-imagining of the Atlantis fable, since there is no definitive myth it allows the author to use it as she likes.  She makes a good case of how a city could be so advanced, and why it may have fallen.  For the most part I enjoyed all of the characters, they all had a part to play, they all had a history, and they all fit into the story without feeling forced.  Fern was interesting as a practical heroine who had to figure out that being an adult was not as straight forward as she thought.  Will was one of my favorite characters, being the perfect counterpoint to Fern.  The relationship between brother and sister was just great. The bad guys were a bit one dimensional, but I did like that there was more then one, they were all different and that they all had a different agenda, this made the alliances and enemies much more interesting.  The author did not try and "get" us by keeping information from us, one of the reasons I found this book to be so interesting is that the author actually made sure we knew for the most part what was going on, having our characters discover truths and mysteries in a timely manner instead of drawing it out forever YAY!  I was a bit worried about the time travel part as the logistics of time travel tend to make my head hurt, but the author did a pretty good job of that.  One of the things she did was have Fern's memories replaced by pertinent ones that applied to the time and place she traveled too.  This gave us a plausible explanation as to why Fern could fit in so easily and made a lot of the tedious acclimation moot. That being said, there was no real reason or mechanism given as to how or why this happened...apparently it is just a side affect of Gifted time traveling?  A side note I found interesting was one of the scenes with the crazy queen Zohran, doing despicable things to assure her power, surrounded by the nobles of the land put me very much in the mind of a similar scene in The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis.  There is a scene in that book where the two children encounter an ancient world filled with frozen nobles of increasingly greedy and evil countenance, culminating in Jadis, a witch queen who destroyed her world for power.  The parallel of these scenes was unexpected and kind of cool.  The best part may be the ending.  I know I know, I usually HATE endings, but this author tied it right back to the beginning in the most clever and believable fashion, making me very very happy. The few things that I was not so keen on.  I found the writing to be a bit uneven, some times when describing something, or a character gets introspective, the writing got over flowery and pretentious.  I felt when the author just told the story instead of trying to author it up, that the book flowed much better.  It was almost like she was trying to write in an overly lyrical, esoteric style, and then would forget to use her pretentious words and just tell a good story.  Some of the "magic" and such were not well explained, and Fern got a bit angsty on occasion, but overall I really enjoyed it.  I am totally stoked when my random picks turn out so well and it was the perfect book to read in the middle of the ocean.  I give this book 7 out of 10 house goblins and recommend it to anybody with an interest in Atlantis, mermaids, magic or time travel that actually works. Happy Reading Everybody!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Cruising Book List

Here it is folks, my super duper list of awesome books that are coming with me on my trip.  I don't know if I'll get them all read, but I'm sure gonna try.  I'm gonna divide them up into all of my favorite summer genre's this time.

Sci-Fi 
The Lives of Tao by Wesley Chu - My brand new, never heard of it, sounds really cool and I think it will be a fun one to read with Hubbin book.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - My I know I love this book and it always delivers the right amount of humor and nostalgia so it can never be a bad day book.

Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis - My I've been wanting to read this forever seriously old school sci-fi book.

The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey - My I love how absolutely immersed in this world I can get so I can escape when I need to book.

The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi - My the premise of this book is so insanely crazy I hope it turns out as awesome as it sounds book

Federations by John Joseph Adams - My sci-fi short story collection that features one of my favorite aspects of epic space BUREAUCRACY book.

Double Helix: Infection by John Gregory Betancourt - My combing of sci-fi, Star Trek, medicine and oh yeah it's the beginning of a series book.

Mermaids
Sirena by Donna Jo Napoli - My I totally forgot I had this book, but how perfect is this for reading on the open sea book.

Prospero's Children by Jan Siegel - My random wow this cover is so cool this book will be either love or hate book.

Mermaids and Other Mysteries of the Deep by Paula Guran - My short stories about some of my favorite mythological beings and I was actually disciplined enough not to even start it until the cruise even though it's been on my shelf for weeks book.

Pirates
Bloody Jack: Being an Account of the Curious Adventures of Mary Jacky Faber, Ship's Boy  by L.A. Meyer - My cheeky, cross-dressing wanna be sailor/pirate misadventure book.

Capt Hook by JV Hart - My I love Captain Hook so much and this proves there is more to him then the Disney villain (even though he is pretty awesome too) book.

Pirates! by Celia Rees - My girl pirates are super kick ass awesome book.

The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi - My what got me obsessed with the ocean and big pretty boats book.

Fantasy
The Rithmatist by Brandon Sanderson - My hey there are cool pictures and a unique premise how cool is that book.

Pocket Apocalypse by Seanan McGuire - My I know I'm gonna love it 'cause I have adored every other book in this series book.

Spelled by Betsy Schow - My sarcastic fairy tale rewrite that sounds like it could be a good ride book.

The Gates of Sleep by Mercedes Lackey - My retelling of one of my favorite fairy tales as part of one of my favorite series book.

Castle in the Air by Diana Wynne Jones - My story taking place in the desert in case being in the open ocean is just too much water for me book.

Mystery
Three to Get Deadly by Janet Evanovich - My light hearted mystery that is always good to make my brain feel good book.

At Bertram's Hotel by Agatha Christie - My vacation mystery featuring one of my favorite authors always a classic book.

Misc.
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel - My recommended with great feeling by my baby sis book.

The Fall by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan - My I have to get this read to stay ahead of the TV show so I sound way cooler then everybody else when I watch it book.

The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams - My not have to think to hard, humorous, easy to pick up and put down book.

I also have a ton of books on my Kindle and Nook apps on my phone, but I don't really plan on bringing that to the pool or beach so I doubt I will get much of those read.  I am super excited to have time to sit by the pool and beach and just read my little brains out.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Mermaid Markers

Woohoo, pool time is here!!!!  I am not a huge fan of hot weather, anything above 73 degrees makes me overheat and turn into sweaty crabby girl, but at least the pool is open.  I love going to the pool 'cause 1) I love love love water, I love being in water, around water, watching water, I love water and 2) I get an excuse to read outside for hours at a time 'cause that's what adults are supposed to do at the pool.  Of course I am only a little bit grown up and sometimes I need to put down the book and go swimming.  Here are some swimming mermaid inspired book markers for when you need a cool down.
Diving Mermaid
Would you consider this diving into your book?  Eh...hee hee hee
Crochet Mermaid
Aw she's so cute!
Vintage Mermaid
I love this vintage mermaid, colors, shape, split tail, all very cool
Colorful Mermaids
The variety in these are stunning and awesome
Art Mermaid 
There is something about this eclectic piece that I love
Ok so I am off to get a couple of these to accompany me on pool/beach days so I can have my water and swim in it too.  I am also off to by several books with mermaids in them 'cause that sounds like perfect beach reading.  Happy Reading Everybody

Monday, June 10, 2013

Around The World In A Zillion Variations

One of my favorite things about fairy tales, mythical creatures, and fireside stories is the prevalence of them around the world.  I love to see the differences and the similarities between these old familiar tales and characters told in different places and through out time.  Some characters, creatures and stories are specific to a place or time, but most have a similar counterpart in most places.  To further my research on my favorite at the moment I acquired a book by Heidi Anne Heiner who also runs the SurLaLune site.  This book in particular is about the mermaid tales from around the world.
Mermaid
This is a nifty not so little book that is an incredible resource for people who want to delve into the stories of these fabled creatures.  This book contains observations, history, analysis and most importantly stories from around the world and through out time.  
Sleeping Beauties: Sleeping Beauty and Snow White Tales from Around the World
Sleeping Beauty
There are several of these books, each focusing on a different story, it's origins and variations.  These are not sit down and read like a regular book type of books (does that make sense?).  They are more of a pick it up and find out interesting tidbits here and there. They also make for great resources if you are trying to write a new story, or just want to find out more about the originals (there is always more than one).
Cinderella Tales From Around the World
Cinderella
Unfortunately the hard copy editions of these books are pretty pricey which sucks 'cause I would like to see all of them lined up on my book shelf looking all pretty. However here is where e-readers are awesome because I can get all of these (there are like 15 of them so far) for closer to 10 bucks a pop instead of the 30-40 bucks the hard copies were costing (and that was for paperbacks!).  Like I said before, these are long, non linear, research type of books.  The content is wonderful and the illustrations awesome!  So anybody who wants to know more about there favorite fairy tale would enjoy the thoroughness of these books.  Anybody want to loan me a couple hundred bucks to buy the set?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Denizens Of The Deep

I love water, I love how it looks, how if feels, I love looking at it, swimming in it, smelling it (unless it's a stinky harbor that shall remain nameless).  I also love stories about water beings of all sorts.  Mermaids, Selkies, Sirens, Kelpies, Undines, Naiads, Kappa's, I love them all. When I was little...ok even now, I was/am obsessed with aquariums and always wanted to get in with all the fishies and swim around like a mermaid, my wonderful Hubbin made that dream come
 true snorkeling in Hawaii a few years ago, seriously it was just like all my young four-year old self dreams come true, it was amazing and now has me wishing I was a Selkie :-)  The most well known story about "mythical" water creatures (I'm convinced they actually exist, just they are smart enough to stay hidden) is of course The Little Mermaid, either the pretty princess Disney version, or the much darker original walking on knives and dissolving into sea foam version.  Here are some books and stories that I really enjoyed featuring our favorite denizens of the deep.

The Mermaid's Madness-This is the second book in the Princess Novels series by Jim C. Hines.  It is a very different retelling of the original Little Mermaid story, and also deals with the aftermath of her being jilted.  Very dark and tragic, not for your little princess.

Midnight Pearls- This is a book from the Once Upon A Time series that is a set of books that retell the various classics to varying degrees of success (more on that in another post).  This is another retelling of The Little Mermaid, but this one spends the vast majority of the time above the waves as the mermaid in question is mostly raised on land.  Pretty good story and a fairly quick read, perfect for the beach.

Petaybee Series- This series and the one that follows it (The Twins of Petaybee) are a collaboration between Anne McCaffery and Elizabeth Scarborough that combine Alaskan and Irish culture and myth.  It is set on a sentient world that produces strange effects in some of the inhabitants, including one of the main characters essentially being a selkie.  This trait is passed onto his children in the second series.  This is one of those great/weird combinations of futuristic sci-fi and environmental fantasy.

Quest For A Kelpie-This historical fantasy set in Scotland is a great one for the young adult crowd.  It sneaks in a lot of history (think Bonny Prince Charles and such) but still keeps the pace moving...plus mythical horse of the sea, so pretty cool.

Kappa- This was a bit of an odd one.  The story is told by Patient 23, an asylum patient.  It is the story of his journey to Kappaland and his twisty, weird adventures with these little green water sprites.  Read this one and tell me what you think.

What are your favorite water creatures?  Do you like the classics or the re-telling's better?  Did you ever dream of swimming in the big aquariums?  Have you ever wished you could breath under water?