Too Odious For Words

Hola readers!  How is everybody?  I've had an insanely busy, yet highly satisfying week (aside from a massive sick day that is).  I am now ready to give one of those ramblings I have been promising for way to long :-)  Today let's ramble about Infandous by Elana Arnold.  This is a book I had heard some interesting things about, bought for my Nook and then promptly forgot about it (this happens a lot lol).  I had finished a different book on my Nook and this one caught my attention when I was looking for the next one...so...here we go.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!

One of the definitions of the word Infandous is "too odious for words"  or "too horrible to mention", knowing this ahead of time may give you a clue to some of the things that happen in this book.  This is Sephora Golding's story and she is the one to tell it. The book is divided into several parts and each one is prefaced by a faiy tale or myth, mostly dealing with either rape, incest or some combination there of.   Sephora is the 16/17ish year old daughter of Rebecca Golding, a charismatic stunning beauty who had to give up her modeling career when she got pregnant with Sephora (called Seph by most) at the tender age of 17. Rebecca gave birth and raised Sephora completely on her own, not even telling Sephora who her father is.   Sephora loves her mother...in fact at several points in the book you may even say she is a bit obsessed with her mother...but more on that later.  Seph and her mother live in a crappy little one bedroom apartment in Venice Beach.  Seph is pretty much left to her own devices while her mother works and goes to school.  With this free time Seph spends much of her time in her little studio, working on her art.  She also surfs with her buddy Marissa and bums free drinks off her various friends who work in various places.  We learn that Seph is upset about something, something very not ok happened and this had to do with a guy named Felix.  See Seph is a wee bit obsessed with sexuality, hers, her mothers, her friends...anyways one day when she was around 15/16ish she meets this guy Felix while she is surfing.  Despite the fact that he is in his mid 30's, she decides that she wants him, tells him her name is Annie and that she is 19 and they go out to dinner.  Later that night she and Felix have sex, and though not Sephora's first time, she finds herself responding to Felix and enjoying the sex in a completely new way.  From what we read, it seems Seph enjoys herself and yet this is where her main angst lies.    We go with Sephora as she navigates other issues of teenagehood.  She struggles as her mother dates a younger man and later helps her deal with the aftermath of the breakup.  She goes to spend some time with her rich aunt and cousins, while trying to decide if she will take them up on the offer to send her to a private school, then college.  She continues to work on her art, deal with her friends and continue to obsess over what ever happened with Felix.  Felix is constantly trying to contact Seph, but she never responds.  Eventually Seph gets a job with Jordan, the guy her mom was seeing, at a surf shop where she takes care of customers and cleans the shop.  One day she takes a picture of a sculptor she created and labeled it Infandous.  She creates stickers of the work and these are seen by Jordan, who wants to put them on the surfboards he creates.  the boards are a hit and Seph is able to get her art out to the public and make a little dough.  She continues to obsess over the "bad thing" that she did, or that happened to her or something.  Anyways, we eventually get a flash back where she discovers a picture of her mother...and...Felix.  From this and the fairy tales we are supposed to infer that Felix was her father...ew.  So yeah, that revelation happened.  One day while Seph is working, Felix comes into the shop.  He is happy to finally talk to "Annie", but Seph tells him who she really is and who her mother is.  Felix realizes that he probably slept with his daughter...again...ew...and understandably freaks then leaves.  The book ends with an original fairy tale about a wolf and mermaid, an attempt by Sephora to put everything what happened into context.

World Building - The world building may be my favorite part of this book.  Most of our time is set in Venice Beach, both in the touristy parts and the more unsavory, lower income places.  The author did a fantastic job of making the reader actually feel as if you were there.  I have been to Venice Beach many times and feel that the atmosphere the author portrayed was spot on.  The author also did an amazing job describing the aunt's residence and surrounding places in Atlanta (another place I've been to multiple times) and then contrasting it with Venice Beach.  This is the type of writing that sticks with me long after the book is over.  It added a lot to this book, and as I said before is, for me at least the best part of the book.

Story - Hmmm...what to say about the story...the story was...well hmmm.  Ok.  So the story was a weird mix of meandery, rote, and weirdly engaging on occasion.  Some parts made me want to keep reading, some parts made me roll my eyes and some parts made say "Are you f(*& kidding me" out loud...which was probably not cool since I was with my young nephews.  Anyways.  For my personal taste I found the overall story to be a bit overly angsty and at times over the top.  There were bits and pieces that I found compelling, at least enough to finish the book fairly quickly...but overall I felt it to be over wrought and not always to the point.

Character - Characters were fairly well done for a YA book.  Sephora is fairly rounded and not perfect in any way, shape or form, which is refreshing...again though, a bit obsessed with sex...but we will get to that in a minute.   Rebecca (Seph's mom) is pretty interesting as we see how between her beauty and charisma she can control a room and yet is still living in pretty shitty circumstances...and yet is trying to make it better...I appreciate the fact that we are shown that beauty and charisma can be helpful, but only get you so far.  The rest of the characters are ok, a bit one note, but not to stock characterish...if that makes any sense.

Editing - For the most part the editing isn't too bad.  The book flowed, nothing was too confusing, everything got wrapped up or answered.  Not really a whole lot to say.  It was very readable, so well done editing.

Sex - Let's just get right to it shall we?  This book was chock full of sex.  Not as in graphic, porn like sex, but in the idea's, innuendo's and just overall feel.  Most of the book I felt like any character was about to get it on at any given moment.  Seph especially felt like she was obsessed with the idea of sex.  She obviously had sex more then once, but it seemed like more then that.  The artwork she encountered, the feeling of the town, the parties, her mother, everything seemed to lead back to some sort of sexual something.  This had me torn.  In some ways, I get it.  She is a teenage girl, living in a very open and relaxed household.  Her mother is a sexual creature and let's face it sex is a bit part of life in general.  I personally really really love sex, like a lot a lot....that being said, even when I was Sephora's age, I wasn't quit as obsessed as she seems to be.  My sex obsession was mostly about myself, as most teenagers obsessions are, and maybe on occasion other people popped into my horny brain, but mostly as curiosity, or how it related to me.  I think what was a bit...I don't know...weird...uncomfortable...was her obsession with her mother's sexuality.  Now me and my Mamma are bestest friends and always have been.  I probably know more about her sex life then I ever wanted, that being said, I don't ever remember dwelling on it the Seph does.  I also found it unsettling at how much she knowing enjoyed having sex with a much much older man.  Not just a couple years older, not just eyebrow raising older, but legally and mentally so not ok older.  Can we say Daddy issues?  Ok, enough about sex lol.

Mamma's - As weird as Sephora's obsession with her mom at some points was, I have to admit I identify to some degree.  I am one of those lucky girls who's mom is also her legit best friend.  I have been super tight with her since birth and I have loved every moment with her.  Every time I get to read about a kid having a decent, and even better, a wonderful relationship with a parent it makes me so happy, especially since this isn't always the trend.  My Mamma was also a single mother for a time, my Mamma also made sure her kids knew they were loved, wanted and strong, my Mamma also knows how to draw people to her with her charisma...and let's face it... my Mamma is pretty hot.  I am always proud and happy when people tell me I'm just like my Mamma, 'cause their is no one on Earth I would rather be compared to.  So reading about a character who is also in complete vibe with her mamma, even when they disagree, she knows it will be ok, this speaks to me.

Fairy Tales/Myths - Can I make a confession?  I'm getting a little tired of authors thinking they are so clever and original when they "discover" the non-Disney version of fairy tales.  This theme of re-discovery and re-telling of fairy tales, while still valid, and on occasion still well done, is no longer new or original.  I have been reading for a really long time, and while these versions may not have been the height of popularity for a time, they have been making a significant resurgence for years.  This is not to say that they are not relevent, or good, or even awesome.  I'm just sick of authors passing it off as if it's this new original thing that they are so cutting edge to do so.  Ok rant over.  The tales that were added were at least on point to the message the author was trying to get across, so that was good.  And to be honest I am never gonna turn down a myth or fairy tale, 'cause those be my faves.

Overall I keep going back and forth in my feelings on this book.  One one hand I really enjoyed the atmosphere the author created.  I also appreciated some of the characters and I can't resist a good fairy tale.  On the flip side, there were just a few too many times where I was rolling my eyes or telling myself "are you seriously for real serious (love my lack of vocab today lol) THAT would never happen in a million years".  Apparently I'm not the only one having trouble with this book.  The reviews I've read are split into three categories.  1)  Loved this book, dealt with the tough issues nobody wants to talk about.  2) ew ew ew ew ew she slept with her DAD! ew ew ew ew  3)  I'm confused I really enjoyed/really disliked this book all at the same time.  I think I fall into the last category.  There were some things I thought were really well done, yet at the same time there were some things I was just like...um....no.  I give this book I don't know...maybe a 6 out of 10 penny mermaids and recommend it to anybody who wants some atmosphere and doesn't mind some werirdness.  So reading through this I realize my articulation skill are almost nihl, so I will stop here.  Let me know your thoughts on books like this.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Glitter And Weirdness

Hi hi hi, busy busy busy, but what else is new right?  Finished a short story collection that I have been working on for a while now.  Glitter and Mayhem edited by John Klima, Lynne M. Thomas and Michael Damian Thomas was initially put on my list for a very specific story and was read because of the insanely open ended yet very interesting premise.  Essentially this is a vastly varied and extensive collection of stories that span the genre's from sci fi to fantasy to disco romance.  Every gender, race (alien, fantasy and human), and potential setting is represented here in some way shape or form.  This makes for a collection that has something for everyone even if every one isn't into every something.  Ok on to my favorite stories.

Sister Twelve: Confessions of a Party Monster by Christopher Barzak - We start the collection with a twisted version of one my favorite fairy tales, The Twelve Dancing Princesses.  In this version, the girls go with their mysterious princes through a portal that leads to all kinds of famous clubs through out various era's (think Studio 54).  Our girls lose themselves in the sex, drugs, alcohol and music of the various era's.  Definitely hits the ground running for a first story in this collection.

Subterraneans by William Shunn and Laura Chavoen - This is a bit of a twisted and uncomfortable story about a pair of girls who get mixed up in a crowd that allows a person to "ride" another.  Special pills enable the taker to essentially ride along in another person's head even to the point of being able to influence them to some degree.  It all falls apart when the being that is supplying the pill gets upset and has to be dealt with by using her own pill against her.  This story is both intriguing and unsettling in it's conveyance of free will, possession, addiction and power.  All kinds of crazy cool in this story.

The Minotaur Girls by Tansly Rayner Roberts - Our story is a take on the Minotaur myth with a roller skating twist.  The Minotaur is a skate club that only is available by invitation.  Our heroine's friends are selected to become a part of the elite and eventually Tess (our heroine) is too.  Once in the club she discovers that all the boys and girls who have gained enterance to the club are actually prisoners in this bizzare glittery skate disco.  Tess follows various clues and hints through a labyrinth that eventually leads her to the Minotaur, a "woman" who controls the club and informs Tess that she is just a body for the Minotaur to inhabit.  Tess rebels and eventually frees everybody to try and live a different and better life YAY!

Such and Such and So and So by Maria Dahvana Headley - This story is just plain weird...but some of the visuals are so cool that it is still worth the read...even if I still have no idea what it's about.  The best part of the story is how the various drinks come to life and interact with the various patrons based on their contents.  So...yeah I like this story for the alcohol...

Bad Dream Girl by Seanan McGuire - This is the story I originally got this collection for in the first place and it did not disappoint.  It is a short story set in the authors InCryptid world and features one of my favorite characters Antimony.  I have been dying for a full book with this character as the lead, but I'll settle for this roller derby short story instead.  In this tale, the youngest Price girl combines her love of roller derby with her job as an InCryptid hunter/protecter to help the beings that she has spent her life on.  The story contains all of the authors plus's and makes me really really want another full length book!

A Hollow Play by Amal El-Mohtar - A recently out as gay Emily is adjusting to her new life in a new city.  She is invited out to the Spangled Cabaret by Anna, a girl who Emily admires from work.  They are mostly there to see Lynette one of the three in the triad that Anna is part of along with a guy named Kel.  Lynette turns out to be an amazing singer and Emily ends up at home with all three of them.  Emily discovers that Lynette and Kel are actually beings from another dimension that need a great sacrifice to get home.  Emily volunteers to give the sacrifice in return for finding someone she lost.  The results are bittersweet, but end on a hopeful note.  This is a cool mix of humanity at its best and a wonderful fantasy element.

Just Another Future Song by Daryl Gregory - I have two words for you...David Bowie...This entry is another weird one, but this one contains a bit of a mystery for us to figure out.  I'm kind of proud of myself 'cause I figured out the "twist" if you can call it that from almost the first line of the story.  Ok I'm not really explaining this story 'cause really you just need to read it.

Of the twenty one stories in this collection I really only like about half of them and really only had the few I mentioned stick with me.  I felt that a lot of the stories in the collection were overly weird just for the sake of being weird...but that is just my opinion.  I think the sheer number of stories may have contributed to the muddled feeling of the overall collection with no real pointed direction.  That being said, I really enjoyed the stories I liked and it is nice to see such a broad range of life so well represented in the pages.  The plus side to so many and so varied stories is that a broad range of people if they are patient enough to sample all the stories will probably find something to love.  I give it 6 out of 10 disco balls and recommend it to anybody who likes something out of the box.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Magic Merlin

I FINALLY finished The Mammoth Book of Merlin edited by Mike Ashley.  It took a while, but I'm finally ready to ramble about it so yay me.  The book is a short story collection about the enigmatic and magical wizard advisor to the mythical King Arthur.  The various authors spin many different takes on the man with varying measures of success, here are the ones I liked the best.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!

Dream Reader by Jane Yolen - Merlin is a young boy with no name in the start of this story of the young magicians childhood.  He is taken in by a traveling circus where he is shepherded and guided by a mage named Ambrosious and a singer named Viviane. Merlin learns that the dreams he has are prophetic and decides to stay with his friends.  I like the mix of innocence, simplicity, and magic in this great origin tale.

The Horse Who Would Be King by Jennifer Roberson - This was the only truly humorous story, and funny it was.  Essentially this tale attributes most of Merlin's plans to a magic horse who is much more intelligent then most people.  Deciding that no matter who is crowned King, Merlin will be the real power behind the throne, the horse comes up with a plan to put the stable boy Arthur on the throne.  Amazingly this works and we get the Sword in the Stone.

Namer of Beasts, Maker of Souls by Jessica Amanda Salmonson - This story is probably the most abstract, yet most complete...if that makes any sense.  Here we get to see Merlin in many of his mythical forms and we also get to see the Morgain, in various incantations as well.  The story is a love story, a creation story, a mythic story and an epic story.  It's hard to put into words what I liked about this particular style, but it did stick with me.

The Death of Nimue by Esther Fiesner - Here we move to a moment with the sorceress Nimue, who is now old and ready to die.  She tells her youngest daughter that she stole most of her power from Merlin and sealed him into a tomb to sleep.  Nimue is now ready to give up her power and die.  Unfortunately for her, Merlin no longer wants it and condemns her to immortality.  Nimue's daughter willingly takes on the mantle of power freeing her mother to die.  I like this one because it gives us the responsibilities and hazards of power.

Merlin Dreams in the Mondream Wood by Charles de Lint - Here we bring Merlin closer to the present.  In this tale, a young girl befriends a Merlin trapped in a tree in a garden that is part of an unusual house.  Her pure, unselfish love free's him and she forgets about him until becoming an adult.  All I know is this story makes me go talk to all of the cool looking tree's I can find...just in case.

The Dragon Line by Michael Swanwick - This story brings us to the present/future and Mordred, illegitimate/incestuous son of Arthur and his half sister has endured to the future and is now spending all his resources looking for Merlin to help him save the world from it's own destruction at the hands of humans.  Mordred and Merlin clearly do not get along, but Mordred needs his help.  It comes to light that Merlin killed the real Arthur as a babe and replaced him as his own son, making Mordred his grandson.  This story is dark, weird, and one of my favorite.

Overall this was not one of my favorites.  Most of the stories felt like they dragged on for quit a bit.  You may notice that most of the stories I liked the best were not even about Merlin at all.  It felt like most of the stories were pieces of much larger stories that would only really make sense or be interesting if you knew the whole thing.  I felt like the short story format did not actually work all that well for most of the stories in the collection and wanted more actual "short stories" that did not need as much background info.  I actually had to force myself to get through this collection, not because the writing was bad, just because the format did not work.  I felt if more stories had actually been written as short stories instead of pieces lifted out of a larger whole (which is what happened with most stories according to the authors notes) that this book would have worked much better.  I am disappointed because I LOVE Merlin and all his incantations and was looking forward to the different ways his story could be told.  Overall I give the collection a 5 out of 10 Swords in the Stone and wish it had been better.  Happy Reading Everybody!

Creatures Of Myth

Haven't done a short story round up in a while...mostly 'cause I lost my most recent read in a huge pile of randomness, but fear not it has been found.  The book is Creature Fantastic edited by Denise Little and is a collection of stories about so called mythic beasts. This book covers all kinds of creatures in all kinds of situations.  Here are my favorites in this book.

Father Noe's Beastery by Jody Lynn Nye - A great opening story about a mysterious man, his art shop and a current setting all makes for a very original idea and a great story.  The character of Kinsie feels current, real and adds the perfect mix of innocence and street smarts to this story.  A great original opening for this book.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Unicorn by Von Jocks - This story is funny, sweet, and kind of like a Lisa Frank picture in book form.  It has the perfect mix of humor, sweetness and just a touch of a bad guy.  The setting of a fantasy shop in an urban mall sets the almost absurd, yet great tone of this perfect unicorn story.

The Last Flight by Michelle West - In complete contrast to the above story, this one is very bittersweet and makes one think of the cons of immortality.  We hear a lot about ancient beasts, and in the case of a Phoenix there wisdom.  In this story, the Phoenix, who can shape shift into a man, decides enough is enough and the resulting story is well written, a bit sad, and a bit hopeful all at once.

The Team Room Beasts by P.N. Elrod - This is a tale of revenge...and tea.   A women is being horribly and unfairly harassed by her ex until a fortuitous meeting at her tea house gives her the ability to summon minions from the beyond to harass him into compliance.  This story is a weird mix of comedy and bit of the horrific, but in the end you feel justice has been served an then have a craving for a scone.

The Dragon in the Maiden by Pamela Luzier - Here we have a story to turn the tropes on their heads. We have a dragon that is not into eating maidens, a "knight" who is looking to marry his way into fortune, and a kingdom that essentially runs on a popularity contest.  This story was good to remind us to always get to know a person (creature) before taking what others say as the truth.

I found this book in the discount section of my favorite used book store and only paid 75 cents for it, but feel it was worth much much more.  There was a great variety of stories, settings and creatures included in this collection that made it very very readable.  I give it 7 out of 10 Loch Ness Monsters and would recommend it to anybody who enjoys a good story, mythic creatures and variety.  Happy Reading Everybody!
What is your favorite mythic creature?  Do you ever feel guilty about spending so little on bargain books when they turn out so good? Why am I stuck on the 7 rating lately?

Epic Road Trip Of Awesomeness!

Hello Everybody!  Is everybody enjoying their summer vacation?  Have you gone anywhere cool?  Finished your summer reading list yet?  I myself have been road tripping it all over the place and have discovered the perfect book to bring on these jaunts.  I talked about it earlier, but am now ready to ramble my little brains out.  The book is Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest by A. Lee Martinez and IT IS AWESOME!  It was a book I picked randomly from the bookstore stack 'cause it was too perfect not to, and ended up on my favorite book list.  As always SPOILERS AHEAD!

Helen is a minotaur, yep a seven foot tall girl with a cows head, complete with horns, hooves for feet and a body full of fur.  She spends her summer flipping burgers and making friends with Troy, the insanely good looking, yet oddly fully self aware and good natured co-worker.  Things get exciting when Mr. Whiteleaf, the aging elf, tries to summon the Lost God by sacrificing Helen to it.  Things take a wrong turn and the Lost God (who manifests as a huge pile of ground beef) lays a quest on Helen and Troy.   They are approached by the National Questing Bureau and given some tools to help them on their quest.  Off they go to have some absolutley insane adventures.  Meanwhile, Nigel Skullgnasher, an Orcish accountant is summoned by his god to assemble his motorcycle club (which includes a human who wants to be an orc) to assassinate the heroic duo to keep the Lost God (who was banished by the other gods for being a tad to destructive) from obtaining the items he needs to re manifest on Earth.  As Helen and Troy go on their quest, they acquire a three legged dog, various enchanted items and a budding romance.  Some of the tasks they are set to overcome include defeating a professional cyclops, attempting to decipher the fates (lowercase f) cryptic words, survive a dragon preserve, battle a witch with a penchant for gingerbread, and try and figure out where they both fit in the bigger picture of life.   Along the way Helen and Troy are both faced with more esoteric questions, such as which of them is the hero, and which of them is the sidekick, should they finish the quest even though it puts the world at risk or give it up and be killed, and would they ever work as more then friends.  Eventually Helen and Troy finish the quest, the orcs catch up and a big bloody battle ensues.  The Lost God manifests, but is defeated and everybody goes back to attempt to live happily ever after.

Sorry for the chintzy summation, but if I start going into detail I will retype the whole book.  It is impossible to pick a favorite part, so just go read it yourself.  So so so so so many things to love about this book, I am just going to dive in and start gushing in no particular order.  Let's start with the world our story is set in shall we?  This is an alternative Earth, where the legends live on through genetic throw backs, where minotaur's while rare do exist and running into an elf fast food manager is not uncommon.  These folks are called Enchanted Americans and for the most part are treated like any other visible minority.  Magic is a part of this world, yet kept seperated enough that most humans (who are still the majority) and even Enchanted Americans live their lives as modern Americans do.  I find this mix of reality and magic to be blended perfectly and love it, this is one of this authors strengths as his other books also display this urban fantasy style blend. Moving on to the hero's.  Helen is not your typical heroine, she is seven feet tall, covered in fur...and oh yeah has a cows head.  She has come to accept who she is for the most part, but has done this by thinking of herself as somebody who can only go so far, who may never be able to be the leading lady, or the center of attention in any way but as a monster. On the other side of the coin you have the perfect Troy, he is good looking, smart, athletic, funny, and not really stuck up at all.  This pairing gives us the perfect

opportunity to see a myriad of reactions and examine how people look at each other.  I could seriously go on and on and on about all the zillions of ways the author uses these two to make a point, usually in a subtle yet funny way, but a true point all the same.  For instance at one point Troy is trying to describe Helen to his sister, being Asian he is aware that, that is usually the first way he is described and is trying to avoid labeling Helen a nothing more then a minotaur, so he describes her as a tall brunette with really pretty big brown eyes.  This of course brings home the point that most people will use what is different, or distinct about a person to describe them e.g. Black, Gay, The one with the fake leg, etc.  Good, bad or otherwise, this is usually how it works. I love in general how neither of the main characters are typical at all.  The female lead is not conventionally pretty, she is not super anything (other then physically strong...which is because of what she is, not anything special), she is a typical teenage girl, trying to figure life out, and by typical I mean real life typical, not book and movie typical.  The male lead is described as so close to perfect as to make no real difference, and yet he has to deal with that aspect of his himself.  He knows he is good looking, athletic, smart etc, but he also feels that people expect way more out of him because of it, and then he feels bad because he is complaining about his perfection.  The interactions between the two are wonderful and believable and wonderful and awesome and wonderful, I would go on,

but I think I've made my point.  Oh wait one more thing, the fact that the female heroine was the physically dominating/protective one and that the male hero was totally fine with it was really refreshing.  The road quest itself is entertaining and humorous.  I love a well done parody, but find most people either go overboard, or don't go far enough, or just don't understand what is funny.  Mr. Martinez does this tongue in cheek take on a classic epic quest in the vein of the Odyssey and other hero quests to perfection.  He retains all the essentials while at least giving a head nod to some of the more absurd aspects of it.  Ok so I'm gonna quit writing now 'cause a) I want you to all go get this, read it, and come back and discuss it b) I bet if you have made it this far your head hurts and you just want this post to end :-)   I give this amazing book 9 out of 10 possibly enchanted teapots and recommend it to anybody who is looking for a fun read, a book to get you in the road trip mood, or an alternative hero's quest.
What do you think of books that parody a trope?  Do you think we are getting a better variety of hero/heroines in our books?  Am I abnormally excited about this book?