The Holy Feast Of I Swear Daddy I Will Kiss The Next Man Who Walks In The Door

We all know that I usually have multiple books going at the same time, this week two of them have been Deadline and Discount Armageddon two very different books, but I noticed they seemed very similar in style.  Ha then I realized they are by the same author Seanan McGuire and her pen name Mira Grant, apparently I like her writing :-) Discount Armageddon was a really fun read, I enjoyed it thoroughly and laughed out loud at several parts.  It is in the dreaded first person narrative, but not a whole lot of angst so it worked. As always SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

Verity Price is the middle daughter in the infamous Price family...well infamous if you run in cryptid circles.  What is a cryptid?  I'm glad you asked, because it is crucial to the story.  Cryptids are what we humans would consider creatures from fantasy, everything from the bogeyman to the tooth fairy.  There are also less well known creatures such as the religious Aeslin mice that have been known to make a Holy Feast out of just about anything.  Anyways the sheer variety of cryptids of every shape and size keep our intrepid heroine busy.  Verity is part of group/family that does there best to protect the balance of cryptids/humans.  She protects humans from the nastier cryptids who prey on them, and also protects the more vulnerable of the harmless cryptids from discovery and harm.  She also helps protect them from the Covenant, an organization that shows no mercy when it comes to cryptids, pretty much using the line of thinking that no cryptid is a good cryptid.  Her family is considered traitors for not only leaving the Covenant when they discovered that most cryptids were not only sentient, but harmless as well; but for also intermarrying with the occasional
incubus. Verity lives in New York City with her own little colony of Aeslin mice, keeping the humor factor at a maximum.  She is trying to become a professional ball room dancer and in between keeps an eye on the resident cryptid population.  To help her attempts at keeping the cryptid balance, she works as a waitress and Dave's Fish and Strips.  Yep our girl works at a strip joint, but not just any strip joint, a cryptid strip joint.  The place is owned by Dave the bogeyman and he employs mostly cryptids such as Candy the dragon princess who is impervious to fire, Carol the lesser gorgon who has to wear a wig so her snakes don't bite customers and Ryan a smoking hot Tanuki who can become quit animalistic when the need arises.  Going about her business of Tangoing, waitressing, and patrolling Verity runs into Dominic De Luca a Covenant member who has been sent to the New York area to see if they need to do a purge.  After a bit of a fight Verity escapes to inform her family of his very unwelcome presence in her city.  Later at a ballroom competition she runs into Dominic again, this time he asks her if she has been helping cryptids leave, as he has noticed a marked drop in the population. Verity is confused as she attributed the disappearances to Dominic's Covenant cleansing.  Together, along with Verity's psychic cuckoo of a cousin discover a sleeping dragon.  This is exciting and a wee bit terrifying as dragons were thought to be extinct, long ago exterminated by the Covenant.  Verity uses her contacts in the cryptid community to find out more information. Dominic tags along, shocked to find out that most cryptids are not only sentient, but posses personalities, feelings, and other traits only attributed to humans.  Apparently in their quest to exterminate all non-humans the Covenant keeps up a pretty hard line of propaganda dwelling only on the potential cryptid danger to humans.  After a narrow escape from a new type of lizard man monster that neither of the two had seen before, Verity and Dominic get it on.  Afterwords they get into a huge argument, both of them realizing they will never agree on the way cryptid/human interactions should be dealt with.  Verity tells Candy, the dragon princess about the

sleeping dragon, causing Verity to be "invited" to the Nest. There Verity discovers the dragon princesses are actually the female of the dragon species, evolved and adapted to fit in with humans.  The supposedly extinct dragons were only the male of the species.  The females have been able to reproduce and keep at least the female side of the species alive by parthenogenesis, but they can't keep it up forever.  They eventually figure out that it is all unmarried females disappearing and that a snake cult is trying to wake and control the dragon through virgin sacrifices (note that this is not the way to wake a dragon up, but silly stupid humans don't know that).  When one of the cryptid girls that Verity and Dominic had talked to goes missing Verity takes to the sewers to find her.  Unfortunately the girl is dead, and Verity herself makes a very narrow escape.  She runs into Dominic who takes the death of the cryptid girl to heart, realizing that he cannot just blindly kill all cryptids he offers to go get the body while Verity goes to work to warn the other girls.  At the club Verity, Candy and Istas a Waheela get ambushed by the lizard men.  Candy gets away but Istas and Verity are taken to become virgin sacra fices to the sleeping dragon.  After a bloody battle won with the help of Dominic and Sarah (Verity's cousin) who had been summoned by Candy the dragon wakes up.  He and Candy have a moment and the dragon turns out to be very nice.  Dominic and the dragon make a deal that as long as they leave each other alone, one will not hunt the other.  Dominic agrees to keep Verity's presence in New York a secret and not hunt harmless cryptids.  Verity goes back to dancing, waitressing and cryptid keeping and the start of a new series is born.

I really enjoyed this book, it was funny, the pacing was good, the characters were all well written, just a good book overall.  Verity is how you write a kick-ass girl.  I know sometimes I complain about the trope of a kick-ass girl, but that is because that seems to be all there is to them.  With Verity it works for a couple of reasons a) She was raised to be a kick-ass girl, so she has a reason to be, it's what keeps her alive. b) She is not a perfect kick-ass girl, she has her believable weaknesses, the biggest being that sometimes she believes to much in her own kick-assness and forgets that other people/cryptids are capable of kicking her ass. c) There is a lot more to her then just her kick-assness. I like how this is written in a kind of classic, almost comic book style, there is fighting, supernatural creatures, and even the occasional skimpy clothing...ok there is a lot of skimpy clothing, but even that serves a purpose.  I think one of my favorite things in the whole book (besides the Aeslin mice), which I have noticed in the authors other books as well is that there is a good bit of actual science in the story.  Now a lot of books would either skip this part, or get really bogged

down in the details, but Ms. McGuire manages to stuff a lot of it in without once slowing down the pace of the book.  I also liked how she used science to point out some of the problems with the hard line Covenant thinking.  In science what makes a gorilla a protected animal, but a Sasquatch a cryptid in need of extermination?  A Madhura who for all intents and purposes is a sweet loving human who just happens to be able to slow decay and bleed sweet smelling blood needs to be killed, but a homicidal human is to be protected?  I also like how Dominic does not have an instant change of heart...not even after he sleeps with Verity.  His change is gradual and comes about as he learns about real life away from the sheltered, propaganda ridden walls of the Covenant.  He also does not come all the way around to Verity's way of thinking, just becomes a bit more tolerant of it, also he call her insufferable woman a lot, which for some reason reminds me of Pride and Prejudice, which is always a good thing. The only things I didn't like are super nit picky.  I wanted to see more of Verity's dancing, she talks about it a lot, but we only really get to see her do it twice.  I want to know more about Verity's family, they seem fascinating, but I think that we will get more of that in later books.  I am definitely looking forward to reading the next books in the series!
Why do tropes sometimes work and sometimes suck patootie?  What cryptid most intrigues you?  What do you think defines a cryptid versus "normal" nature?  Do you sometimes just love a kick-ass book?  Do you think that I really like to type kick-ass?

Let's Get Political

Just finished watching the first season of the American version of House of Cards and I have to say I am a little disturbed and a little in love.  It was a bit like watching a train wreck, you know the outcome is going to be horrific, but you just can't help but watch the process.  To be fair, when it comes to shows about politics I am definitely more of a TheWest Wing fan, it is a bit more optimistic then most other shows about Capitol Hill.  When it comes to reading politics can be hit or miss for me.  If not done correctly it can get confusing and boring, but done right it can be as exciting as any battle scene.  Here are a few of my favorite books/series that have a strong political theme to them.

The Newsflesh Trilogy

Zombies and Politics what could be better!  Seriously though, this series is not what I thought it was gonna be, it turned out so much better, and involved, and fresh and different and...well you get the idea.  The politics are a central part of this story and it is extremely well done.

The Dragonriders of Pern

Dragons and Politics who knew they would turn out to be such a good mix.  Another series that on the surface seems to be about one thing.  Brave daring dragon riders battling an evil threat, but the more you read the more you realize it is about a whole world and it's way of life, with a heavy dose of conflicting politics thrown in for fun...and it actually is fun.

Ender's Game

Politics in Space with a side of ethics and morals.  I love this book for so many reasons, one of the chief ones it the look at a global political system.  I love how involved the children get, either by choice or by circumstance. This book really explores all the different ways you can use politics to manipulate just about anything.

Crown Duel

Politics at the Castle, this is actually an interesting duo of books.  The first half deals with a renegade noble trying to get her brother on the throne, along with politics there is a lot of swordplay and typical fantasyish mayhem.  The second half is an awesome contrast to the first half where our heroine has to battle using words and influence in a political arena instead of her fists, very very cool.

Seraphina

Politics and Religion in a land with an uneasy truce.  I loved how different this book turned out to be.  Aside from my few minor frustrations I liked how politics mingled with religion, fear, biases, and practicality.  I also liked how the politics were shown from different views, the higher ups, the lower class, the different age groups etc.  I also liked how the humans and the dragons had two completely different political and governmental areas.

As you can see I don't read a lot of realistic political books.  I figure if I want to deal with that crap I can just turn on any of our zillions of 24 hour news channels.  However I do like a book that can explore the politics of different times and places adapting it to things we don't have to deal with and yet making the struggle feel familiar.  There are tons of other books that do the politics well, these are just a select few of my current favorites. Happy Reading.

What is your favorite type of politics in books?  Do you like politics in your fiction or do you read to escape all that?  If you could invent a political party what would it be?  Is it bad that I can finish a 13 episode series in a single weekend?

 

Candy For All

Just finished an AWESOME book, that's right folks that AWESOME was in all caps, that is just how much I liked this book.  What book is this that deserves an all caps AWESOME you ask, well I will tell you.  The book is The Candymakers by Wendy Mass, it was a completely random acquisition and and even more random read (I accidentally touched it on my e-reader going for a different book), but as happens on those most wonderful of occasions, random acts of reading paid off.

Ok this is were I usually go and spoil all the fun for everybody by writing a detailed rambling synopsis, but I am not going to do that this time.  I will do my very best to leave out any major spoilers because that is half the fun of this book.

Essentially the book is about four kids who are contestants in the annual New Candy Contest.  The contestants are all 12 years old and will be on of 32 competitors.  The winner of the contest gets $1000, but more importantly his/her candy will be mass produced and sold in stores, thus potentially jump starting a persons candy making career.  Let's meet our cast shall we.  First up is Logan Sweet, he is the son of the Candymaker (with a capital C) and lives with his mother an father in the Life Is Sweet factory.  Logan is home schooled and does not have a lot of association with other children.  His biggest talent is to be able to taste a sweet and tell exactly what's in it, and exactly what it needs to make it perfect.  He is hoping to win the competition with his Bubbletastic ChocoRocket...if he can just get it perfected.  He wants to win to continue on in the tradition of his Grandfather who won with the Pepsicle and his Father who won with the Neon Yellow Lightning Chew.  He is a bit on the clumsy side, but is a sincere boy who genuinely loves the candy making business.  Next up we have Miles O'Leary, who is a bit of a strange little dude.  He carries

around a backpack with him constantly and has a weird obsession with the afterlife. Miles has some weird allergies and seems to be afraid of his own shadow.  At heart he is a good kid and loves a good hug.  Daisy Carpenter is next on our list.  This quirky vibrant girl even rides her horse to the factory one day.  She is strong, loud and willing to stick up for the little guy.  Her best friend Magpie is partial to Pepsicles and she likes to read, especially romance novels about cowboys.  Finally we come to Phillip Ransford III, a stuffy young man who arrives at the factory in a limo, wearing a suit and tie.  He is not very endearing and very quickly drops the bomb that he does not even like candy.  He tells everyone his sole reason for entering the competition is to win.  He is constantly scribbling away in a notebook that he refuses to let anybody see.  So that is our gang of kids, a variety of characters that seems to fill the requisites in Middle Grade (MG) reading...but not all is at it seems.  The book is actually best summed up by a quote from the beginning of the book,

 "Once there were four children whose names were Logan, Miles, Philip, and Daisy. Each of them had recently turned twelve, and although none of them knew it yet, their lives would never be the same. You might ask, what makes them so special that their essays were selected over hundreds of others? Why do they each want to win the contest so badly they are willing to risk everything? Perhaps it would be best to show you. Let’s start with Logan, since he is the Candymaker’s son, after all. But don’t think he has an edge in the contest just because he was born smelling like chocolate. Logan has the hardest task, for he must be your eyes and ears. Pay close attention to what he tells you about the others— and himself— and what he doesn’t. The others will get their chance, too, but it’s only fair to start with Logan because if it weren’t for his father’s generous invitation to help prepare the others for the contest, Miles, Daisy, and Philip wouldn’t be standing outside the Life Is Sweet candy factory right now, wondering if they should knock on the huge wooden door or just let themselves in."
Mass, Wendy (2010-10-05). The Candymakers (pp. 5-6). Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. Kindle Edition.

I don't want to give anything away, because a) I can't do it justice, the way things are revealed is pretty cool, b) I really want you all to read this book and enjoy it the way I did c) it was a 450 page book that felt like 100 pages and that is a lot to sum up.  I will try and hit some of my favorite non-spoilery parts for you.
The Factory- The factory itself is amazing!!! It has a Willy Wonka feel to it, minus the Oompa Loompas and magic.  Well actually that is not entirely true, there is magic, but it comes in a realistic form of the sheer awesomeness of people who love what they do.  Anyways back to the factory.  Life Is Sweet does its best to produce all of the raw materials for there goodies right on the premises.  This means in addition to the candy rooms (The Taffy Room, the Some more S'more's room, the Cocoa Room, etc.) there is a fully working farm, orchard and ranch.  The best part of the factory is the Tropical room where they have figured out a way to grow cinnamon trees, vanilla beans and a special variety of cocoa tree.  I think I could spend forever and a day exploring this place.
The Candy-One of my favorite things about this book is that it is continually describing new candies and new candy making techniques.  A lot of books that use a premise like this one load the front end with all kinds of awesome descriptions and variety and then the last 3/4 of the book don't introduce anything new.  This book is continually introducing us to new treat, new varieties and new ways to make things, be warned have a bag of candy with you when you read it.  These are real candy (well real as in not magic beans or anything like that) the Oozing Crunchorama is described perfectly with hazelnuts, chocolate, carmal and other yummy things.  At the competition itself many of the entries are described and this just adds awesomeness to the very end.
The Adults-In MG and YA books adults tend to fall into one of two categories, either meanie heads out to get the kids or practically non-existent.  In this book there are a few of those, but for the most part the adults are as realistically involved in the children's lives as one would see in the real world.  Keeping in mind that not every kid in this book has a traditional life, but the adults including the workers at the factory have a good
mix of authority, empathy, and frustratedness that one sees from adults dealing with 12 year olds.  Also most of the adults have a great sense of humor adding to the overall awesome tone of the book.
The Kids-After all is said and done (and there is a lot to say and do) this is actually a story about friendship.  Sure there are a ton of twists and the mystery/problem is harrowing, the solution difficult, but in the end it is about four very very different kids figuring out not only who they are, but how they fit into the world and with each other.  The friendships do not come easy and has to evolve several times over the course of the book, but by the end they all agree if nothing else to keep working at the friendship. This is a great book to show readers to never take a person at face value because you never know there true motivation at the outset.  Also how you perceive a person may not be at all how they perceive themselves.
The Story/Writing-The concept and execution of this book is truly AWESOME (sorry I just can't type that in lowercase letters).  A story of this type could very easily get out of hand, but the author keeps just the right amount of...I don't even know what it is, but she did it.  This was a 450 page book that I finished in a day and a half (hence the lack of post yesterday), I did not even realize how long it was until I was done.  To me that is a sign of a good author, one who can keep your attention and have you turning the pages as fast as you can.  Another good thing about the story is that it was interesting all the way through.  A lot of times with books like these you just want to get to the part where the secret is revealed, sometimes you don't even care about the in between stuff you just want to figure out what the heck is going on.  In this book the author does a good job setting up the questions and then doling out the answers fairly evenly through out the story, also you actually care about the characters themselves so after a while the secrets become secondary...until she reveals one and then you are like WOW OMG AHHHHH.  The only tiny nitpick is that there are a couple highly coincidental/far fetched things that make you roll your eyes a bit, you know especially those two things (read the book and then you will know what I am talking about), but in the end you just let yourself accept it and enjoy the ride. Also as far as rereadabilty goes it's kind of like The Sixth Sense once you know the secret it takes a certain Ahhness away.

In case you haven't figured it out yet I loved this book, I am sorry for the lack of details, but it must be read with out any spoilers for the full AWESOMENESS to take effect.  This is a great one to read with your kids, or curled up with your favorite treat, or to read out loud to a class (hmmm this would make a great class project that you could learn to make your own candies while reading it).  I think almost anybody would enjoy this book and give it a 9 out of 10 Oozing Crunchoramas!
What book have you accidentally started and could not put down?  How awesome are the cheapo deals on e-books that make you pick things up you never thought of before?  What kind of candy would you invent?  Is it weird I like books with yellow covers?